DAY BY GRACE

enough coffee

2011-04-04T08:03:00.000-07:00

two mice

2011-04-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

sunshine robot

2011-04-04T07:59:00.000-07:00

Pictures of Holiness, Concluded

2011-03-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

A brief overview on the second Nicene Council can be found here and here. So what? What can we, as Christians, learn from a debate that seems to have been settled a good 1200 years ago?

The Second Council of Nicaea -- Part III of III

“You shall worship the Lord your God in spirit and in truth.” John 4:24 (ESV)

Although the second Nicene Council decided, in 787 A.D, that the veneration of sacred images and relics was orthodox, the debate was far from resolved. Iconoclasts continued to agitate in the Eastern empire for the next hundred years, further weakening the empire's political integrity. And images increased the division between the Eastern and Western churches; although the Eastern Orthodox Church eventually decided in favor of images, they disagreed with the Roman Catholic church's use of carved images.

In Europe, the most outspoken opponents of the Council's decision came from the Frankish, or early French, church. In 790, Frankish bishops writing for Charlemagne published Quattuor Libri Carolini in response to Nicaea II's decision. Any form of devotion or reverence directed toward images, the Quattuor Libri claimed, was superstitious and idolatrous. Unlike earlier iconoclasts, however, Charlemagne's book admitted a legitimate place for images, as “adornment” in churches and to instruct or recall Christian history.

By the late Middle Ages, however, the Roman Catholic church had entirely embraced Nicaea II's reverence of images. As devotion to saints and to Mary increased, so did devotion to relics and images; just as the iconoclasts feared, many images came to be viewed as sacred or imbued with power in themselves.

This worship of saints and images deeply offended more radical Reformers, including Ulrich Zwingli, John Calvin, and John Knox. In fact, in 1549 Jean du Tillet – a French bishop and friend of Calvin – returned to the debate when he published the first printed edition of Quattuor Libri Carolini.

The Roman Catholic Church reaffirmed its injunction to worship saints and their relics and images in the 1563 Council of Trent, stating that the

“images of Christ, of the Virgin Mother of God, and of the other saints, are to be had and retained . . . and due honor and veneration are to be given them; not that any divinity, or virtue, is believed to be in them; or that anything is to be asked of them; or that trust is to be reposed in images, as was of old done by the Gentiles, who placed their hope in idols; but because the honor which is shown them is referred to the prototypes which those images represent; in such wise that by the images which we kiss, and before which we uncover the head, and prostrate ourselves, we adore Christ, and we venerate the saints, whose similitude they bear; as by the decrees of Councils, and especially of the second Synod of Nicaea, has been defined against the opponents of images.”

The Reformers stoutly maintained Christ alone was to be adored, and His intercession was alone sufficient for believers. Calvin addressed the issue at length in his Institutes of the Christian Religion. Calvin used Scripture to argue that God forbids human beings to create images of Himself, sculptural or otherwise, because He would thus necessarily be “represented falsely and with an insult to His majesty” (Vol I., xi.4).

Furthermore, Calvin argued, the human mind is so permeated with sin that it is naturally inclined to create an idol out of any representation of God or a god. The golden calf of the Israelites and the statues of the pagan nations all evidence man's disinclination to trust in the presence and providence of an invisible, all-powerful God. Idolatry is man's attempt to make a god “in his own image.”

Calvin did see a place for painting and sculpture to create instructive, morally uplifting images. However, he saw no place for them in worship. Using images to instruct the mind or emotions about God, as Nicaea II had directed, would yield a false understanding of God's nature.

“I confess, as the matter stands, that today there are not a few who are unable to do without such (images to teach them),” Calvin admitted. “But,” he continued, the unlearned believers' dependence on images is “because they are defrauded of that doctrine which alone was fit to instruct them.”

Calvin contended that we truly see Christ and His work not in pictures or statues, but “by the true preaching of the gospel” (I.xi.9). This was the heart of the Reformation – the “true preaching of the gospel,” making the word of God accessible to every Christian.

The Reformation put God's own representation of Himself in the hands of believers, in their own language. The glorious story of redemption needed no physical images to captivate their thoughts, seize their imaginations, and overwhelm their emotions with response to God's holiness and astonishing love.

For most Protestant denominations, the question of sacred images was decided during the Reformation. The issues informing that old debate, however, are very relevant, and we encourage readers to ponder a few thoughts after considering the decision of the second Council of Nicaea.

First of all, our knowledge of God must come from Scripture. We cannot rely on the thoughts that we “feel” must be true about God – we must first of all trust what He says about Himself.

Secondly, it is not appropriate to worship God in any way that “feels right” or moves our emotions in a positive way. As Calvin pointed out, sin makes even our best intentions an occasion for idolatry. Our worship, too, much be directed by what God Himself, through Scripture, tells us is acceptable. This principle is difficult but vital to apply. Our God is not “like us,” a being able to be contained or explained by anything human beings create, and to misrepresent Him is a fearful thing.

Finally, Christ's sacrifice is always acceptable. We can always approach God, in “fear and trembling” of His holiness, but also in confidence, knowing that we need no other access, no other mediation. God Himself, in the person of Christ, intercedes for us.

Pictures of Holiness, Part II

2011-03-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

The first part can be found here.

The Second Council of Nicaea - Part II of III

He (Christ) is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of His nature

(Hebrews 1:3, ESV)

It was late in the year 787. The seventh great ecumenical council, called by the Byzantine empress Irene to address the legitimacy of sacred images in worship, was holding its fourth session. Attending were officials from the Western church, bearing the support of Pope Hadrian, as well as over 350 Eastern Orthodox bishops. Several bishops who had earlier participated in the iconoclastic Council of Constantinople, thirty years before, recanted their iconoclastic beliefs; they affirmed their support of the veneration of images and appealed to the forgiveness of Christ and the intercession of Mary and the saints.
      So far all attendees had been unanimous in their support of the images; today, the Council turned its attention to arguments against images. In the fourth session, they read aloud the determinations published by the Council of Constantinople. According to the iconoclastic Council, “the unlawful art of painting living creatures blasphemed the fundamental doctrine of our salvation – namely the Incarnation of Christ.” Creating or venerating images of Christ was a wordless profession of the heresies of Nestorius and Arius, always a misrepresentation of His divine and human nature. More than that, venerating images of Mary or the saints was “a perpetuation of pagan idolatry.”
      The iconoclastic Council cited numerous Scriptures, including Exodus 20:2-6, numerous Old Testament passages against idolatry, and God's decree that His worshipers “worship ... in spirit and in truth” (John 4:24). The Nicaean Council responded by referencing the images God commanded to be placed in the Jewish temple, especially the carved cherubim (e.g. Exodus 25). Images in themselves were not heretical, they argued: it was false worship that was anathema. The Council agreed that images of Christ in particular were the most perfect depiction of “the profundity of the abasement of the incarnate God for our sakes.”
      In fact, the Council argued less from Scripture than from the images' undeniable emotional force. They appealed to the support of early Church fathers, including a sermon in which St. Gregory Nyssen described a painting of the sacrifice of Isaac he could never view “without tears.” John, a representative of the Eastern church, pointed out that if an image could move an educated divine so powerfully, how much more useful it would be to instruct and move “ignorant and simple” believers. Most Christians in the ninth century were illiterate, unable to read the Scriptures or even, in Europe, able to understand the Latin preaching of their shepherds.
      Like previous councils, Nicaea II was concerned at its heart with defending the true nature and worship of Christ. Images themselves were never to be worshiped; instead, honoring images provided a priceless aid to the knowledge and emotions of believers. One by one, attendant bishops affirmed their faith with the words of the Nicene Creed, saluting Christ as the only savior of His people from the worship of false gods. Only “the incarnate God . . . went in and out among us, and cast out the names of idols from the earth, as it was written. But we salute the voices of the Lord and of his Apostles through which we have been taught to honor in the first place her who is properly and truly the Mother of God and exalted above all the heavenly powers; also the holy and angelic powers; and the blessed and altogether lauded Apostles, and the glorious Prophets and the triumphant Martyrs which fought for Christ, . . . and all holy men; and to seek for their intercessions . . .
      “Moreover,” the Council concluded, “we salute the image of the life-giving Cross, and the holy relics of the Saints; and we receive the holy and venerable images: and we salute them, and we embrace them, according to the ancient traditions of the holy Catholic Church of God. . . . Likewise also the images of the holy and incorporeal Angels, who as men appeared to the just. Likewise also the figures and effigies of the divine and all-lauded Apostles, also of the God-speaking Prophets and of the struggling Martyrs and of holy men. So that through their representations we may be able to be led back in memory and recollection to the prototype, and have a share in the holiness of some one of them.”
      Veneration of images continued to spread both in the Eastern and Western churches. The debate was not finished, however: there continued to be opposition to the images from within the church. Join us next week as we look at the Reformation's response to the use of images in worship.

Pictures of Holiness

2011-03-05T09:46:00.000-08:00

For lack of anything else to post, here is the first of three articles i'm working on for our local paper. Our church in Troy has been running a series of articles on church history, specifically the history of the great ecumenical Councils that hammered out the nature of Christ and other essential Christian doctrines. Why even bother to inform yourself? The first article, by R.B. Tolar, addresses that very question. The entire "Soli Deo Gloria" series is archived here.

The seventh ecumenical Council, the second Council held in Nicaea, was convened in 787 AD to address the question of sacred images--two- and three-dimensional depictions of Christ, Mary, the saints and early martyrs--and their place in worship.

Y'all, it is HARD to write a 500word paper that says much of anything.

The Second Council of Nicaea: Part 1 of 3

“I am the LORD your God ... You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. You shall not bow down to them or serve them, for I the LORD your God am a jealous God ...” (Exodus 20:2-6, ESV)

As the history of the Church progressed, images of Christ, Mary, and early saints and martyrs became more and more important in Christian worship. Paintings and sculptures became tools to teach unlettered believers – in the vast majority! – to remind them of saints' and martyrs' faith, and to rouse emotions to increase their faith and devotion. Christians in Western Europe and in the East prayed in front of images, kissed them, and lit candles in front of them. Through images, believers could encounter holiness in a form they could see and touch. Just like the relics of the saints, local churches cherished certain images, looking to them for protection, healing, and blessing.

Church “doctors” were careful to point out that sacred images were aids to devotion; those who honored them were not worshiping or praying to the images themselves, but to Christ or the saints whom they could not see in the flesh. Practically, however, many less-educated worshipers drew no distinction between worship inspired by images and worship of images. Opponents of images, called iconoclasts – Greek for “image-breakers” – called the growing devotion to images nothing less than “idolatry under the appearance of Christianity” (Council of Constantinople, AD 754).

The iconoclasts and the image-lovers both accepted the six great Councils' declarations about Christ's nature and about the different kinds of reverence due to God, Mary, and the saints. What divided them was a violent difference about how it was appropriate to experience holiness. One of the great defenders of images, the hymn-writer John of Damascus, defended images of Christ as the most immediate and moving way to appreciate the both the fact and the implications of the Incarnation. Iconoclasts adopted a stringent interpretation of the commandment against images, viewing any attempt to depict divine nature as blasphemy. They pointed to Muslim military victories in the Holy Land as proof that God supported Islam's strict prohibition of representational art: Christian cities were defeated because God was judging the Church for idolatry.

Rulers' personal beliefs led to the ascendancy of iconoclastic laws in the Byzantine empire. In AD 754, Emperor Leo III called a council in Constantinople to establish firm doctrine about sacred images. Around 350 church leaders met to discuss Scriptures and apostolic tradition. They unanimously agreed that “the unlawful art of painting living creatures blasphemed the fundamental doctrine of our salvation – namely the Incarnation of Christ.” Any image depicting Christ was blasphemy, bound to misrepresent His divine and human natures; any image of Mary or the saints was no different than pagan idolatry. Only the Lord's Supper, instituted by Christ Himself, was an acceptable representation of His nature.

Leo III implemented the Council's decision immediately and violently. Images were seized from churches and abbeys and destroyed; mosaics were painted over and replaced with blank walls or a simple cross. While the rulers of the Empire and their soldiers supported the Council's attitude toward images, however, most common worshipers and the lower ranks of the clergy grew to love the sacred images even more strongly.

Throughout the eighth century the debate continued. When Leo III's son, Leo IV, died, his widow Irene assumed the regency for her son Constantine. The Empress Irene was an ambitious, ruthless ruler who did everything possible to increase her power—including an attempt to blind her own son when he grew older. Her support of icons was probably informed by political factors. Whatever her reasons, Irene called another ecumenical Council to reexamine the question of images. Iconoclastic forces broke up a meeting in Constantinople; the following year, AD 787, she called for a meeting in Nicaea. 350 bishops – including many who had participated in the earlier iconoclastic Council, as well as representatives from Pope Hadrian – assembled to denounce iconoclasticism and the Council of Constantinople, and to issue a ruling to define and support the use of images in Christian worship.

Next week: the second Council of Nicaea, its discussions and its conclusions.

COFFEE.

2011-02-21T21:32:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts on the Trinity

2011-02-17T18:26:00.000-08:00

(prompted by a Sunday morning discussion)

Three persons, all one holy, eternal God. Yet each distinct - not merely a way to describe different roles or functions of a single person.

This is the orthodox definition of the Trinity, hammered out by the Church over centuries of studying the Bible.

Kevin DeYoung calls this "the most important doctrine you never think about." Our understanding of God is foundational to our faith - to how we relate to Him as we live as Christians. Why is the Trinity important?

I think the most basic implication of the Trinity is that it completely blows out of the water any idea that God needs us. Within the trinity, God has a knowledge of and a love for Himself that is perfect and complete. He did not create mankind because He needed someone to know and love Him. He is secure in Himself forever. More than that, God saves us Himself - it is all His work. Only God Himself could satisfy His need for justice. Christ is not a good man who worked his way to righteousness with God - He is God Himself in skin among us.

At the same time, the relationship within the Trinity also informs the way we relate to others. God is love, and learning love from Him, we are called to live with one another in love.

DeYoung points out that Christianity, seeking to reflect a God who is a unity of diverse Persons, contrasts beautifully with two worldviews that compete with it today across the world: postmodernism (which allows for a diversity which is meaningless and irreconcilable) and Islam (which prescribes unity of language, culture, and thought).

There's more -- a lot more. I leave you with a link to an essay on the Trinity by Jonathan Edwards. Go, read - it's short, i promise! But since it is Jonathan Edwards, here's a brilliant summary by J.K. Jones:

The Father's idea of Himself is so perfect that it has being as a Person. This is the Son, eternally begotten of the Father. The Father and the Son have a love for each other so perfect that it has being as a Person. This is the Holy Spirit.

If that doesn't spark your brain, i don't know what will.

So what do you think? What do you believe about the Trinity? Does it even matter?

Amigurumi!!

2011-02-15T20:19:00.000-08:00

(Japanese): small cute things crocheted in the round. My other mother very patiently showed me the basic crochet stitches. I know myself too well to begin a large-scale, long-term project, so i have had fun with amigurumi. I completed Ningyu-chan over three days, using this pattern as a base (I modified it to suit myself).

And yes, being able to read crochet patterns does make me feel pretty bad@$$.

Here is Ningyu-chan. I single-crocheted her head, body, and arms separately, then sewed them together. You can see where i messed up a little joining her arm to her body.

Since Ningyu-chan is a mermaid, i thought it would be fun to make her a tail. I started at the waist and made it up as i crocheted down, using half-double crochet (i strung pony beads onto the yarn for a more fishy look).

Here she is wearing her tail.

Lazy Post, Funny Link

2011-02-14T12:11:00.001-08:00

i think i'm going to snort diet coke out of my nose.
This site is that funny.

That's Snow Fun

2011-02-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

It's been a pretty snowy winter in Tennessee. On the way to the obligatory nurse check-in this morning, i felt like we were driving through a Christmas snowglobe -- the way the morning was glittering off the white snow, the way the tall spikes of grass were crusted with ice, like rock-candy or crystal carvings. Do you ever feel that you are living on top of a faerytale -- that there is some great magic buried underneath the hills you walk on, waiting its time to burst out in a great shining flower of magic and adventure?

Anyway, the good thing about winter in Tennessee -- as compared to winter in, say, IOWA -- is that it never gets so cold you can't enjoy being cold. We are in the 20s (that's ABOVE zero!), and have gotten more snow in the past few days than we have for several years. I can't remember the last time i played outside in the snow. I feel like a little kid -- a decorous walk across the drive to my grandparents' turns into a series of snowbunny hops. Somehow i managed to leave dinosaur footprints in my path, and there are bootprints spelling out a lopsided "EMILY <3 DENNIS" on the hill behind our house.

My sisters were a little more creative. They came up with a Jane Austen snow-woman:

Is that awesome or what?

OMG, Leviticus

2011-02-05T06:50:00.000-08:00

The joke in my family is that every plan to read the whole Bible always falls apart right around the middle of Leviticus. One long book of complicated descriptions of sacrifices, rituals, cultural rules that don't really seem applicable. I know "ALL of Scripture is God-breathed, useful ... " etc, but that doesn't make Leviticus any less boring.

Guess what book i've reached in my "read through the Bible in a year" plan?

I spent this morning reading my Bible's introduction to Leviticus. Possibly this was just a strategy on my part to put off actually reading Leviticus.

But guess what? The Reformation Study Bible actually has me looking forward to reading the book. Well, convinced that it's worthwhile, anyway, and committed to getting through it all again. On the off chance that some of y'all don't have the RSB (the translation is accurate and flowing, the contextual and theological notes are awesome, it weighs 422 pounds, you should get one), here's why i actually want to read Leviticus.

All the cultural prescriptions in Leviticus reflect the concepts and values that are foundational to God's people, Israel. These same ideas inform New Testament writers - especially their understanding of sin, sacrifice, and atonement. Leviticus teaches us to appreciate Christ's work of atonement.

As i read, i'm going to be looking for these main themes:

God's presence among His people. This is what Christ secured for us perfectly - the amazing gift of being able to enjoy God's presence.

Holiness. We are called to bear God's image in everything we do. "You shall be holy, as I am holy" (Lev. 11:45)

Atonement through Sacrifice. If God is holy, and we are not, we're in trouble. Yet God sacrificed his Son to satisfy his holiness and secure us into a relationship with himself. Leviticus should be a great place to see God's character, and his relationship with unholy people, depicted.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Love You

2011-02-03T20:53:00.000-08:00

Throwing Inkwells

2011-02-01T15:55:00.000-08:00

This week I had the great privilege to pray with a friend who shared a prayer from Beth Moore's book, So Long Insecurity. I haven't read the book, but that prayer was intense. We were there before God's throne, confessing our deepest fears -- the secret failures to believe His promises to us.

Where does insecurity come from? Why do I protect myself from relationships? Why am I afraid to be known? Why am I so afraid of conflict?

Satan sitting on my shoulder with a pocket mirror, showing me my own face. I know who I am. I don't deserve to be loved. I don't deserve to be happy.

Thomas Merton writes, "The beginning of the fight against hatred, the basic Christian answer to hatred, is not the commandment to love, but what must necessarily come before in order to make the commandment bearable and comprehensible. It is a prior commandment, to believe. The root of Christian love is not the will to love, but the faith that one is loved. The faith that one is loved by God. That faith that one is loved by God although unworthy--or rather, irrespective of one's worth!

"In the true Christian vision of God's love, the idea of worthiness loses its significance. Revelation of the mercy of God makes the whole problem of worthiness something almost laughable: the discovery that worthiness is of no special consequence (since no one could ever, by himself, be worthy to be loved with such a love) is a true liberation of spirit. And until this discovery is made, until this liberation has been brought about by the divine mercy, man is imprisoned in hate.

"Humanistic love will not serve. As long as we believe that we hate no one, that we are merciful, that we are kind by our very nature, we deceive ourselves; our hatred is merely smoldering under the gray ashes of complacent optimism. We are apparently at peace with everyone because we think we are worthy. That is to say we have lost the capacity to face the question of unworthiness at all. But when we are delivered by the mercy of God the question no longer has a meaning." (New Seeds of Contemplation)

Or to put it more simply, "We love because He first loved us."

Who do I listen to? The devil showing me what i deserve? Or the God who tells me i am His precious possession forever?

If God has called me beloved, who am i to disbelieve Him?

Lord, grant me the trust in Your love to go forth boldly. To live boldly, to love freely, to serve without fear. To live every moment delighting in the relationship You have brought me into.

Hidden

2011-01-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

Should I? Should I?

2011-01-30T14:45:00.001-08:00

I'm thinking probably so.

Click on the post title and scroll ALL the way down the page to tell me what you think.

Fear not, stand firm

2011-01-27T14:40:00.000-08:00

Since the beginning of January, I've been trying to follow a schedule of readings that will take me through the whole Bible in a year. I have to admit, three chapters of Exodus can be a tough chunk to get through in a morning. Especially before I've finished that vital second cup of coffee.

For every sloggy day, though, God laces a verse into my life like sweet water, and I see sinblind ideas rinse away like so much sediment. Like a few mornings ago. I was camped out in Exodus 14 with the Israelites:

"When Pharoah drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the LORD. They said to Moses, 'Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? Is this not what we said to you in Egypt: 'Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians'? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.'
"And Moses said to the people,

'Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.'"

(Exodus 14:10-14, English Standard Version)

There I am, scared of the "disorder" (fanged chaos!) behind me, trying not to panic at the task that is if anything more horrible, impassible in front of me. And God says He's going to fight the battle for me.

Here I am, so afraid that I'll fail at the struggle ahead of me. Thinking defeat is so certain I might as well go back to Egypt. And He reminds me that it's not my struggle. It's His. And He's already won. I know Him, His love, His power, His trustworthiness. It doesn't matter that I can't win. I can -- I have the incomparable gift of being able to "delight myself in the Lord," and trust Him to bring me where He wants me to be, in His time.

"For freedom Christ has set you free. Stand firm, therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery," Paul writes (Galatians 5:21).

***

And now for proof that God does, indeed, have a sense of humor. When I looked for pictures related to "Red Sea crossing," I thought I might find a classical painting of the Biblical scene I could link to. Guess what I found instead?

Apparently there is an underwater restaurant in the Red Sea.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for another high-calorie snack (^_^)

Lasagna Bolognese

2011-01-25T11:39:00.000-08:00

The bad part about gaining weight is that you get bigger. The good part is that you get to eat. This is a recipe for lasagna that is truly AMAZING. When I first read the recipe, I was skeptical -- white sauce instead of oodles of cheese? Believe me, it works.

LASAGNA BOLOGNESE

(6 generous portions)

Begin by preparing your meat sauce (this sauce is also good used anywhere you would use basic spaghetti sauce):

RAGU ALLA BOLOGNESE

3 tablespoons butter
1 minced onion
1 minced carrot
1 minced celery
4 oz diced pancetta (or use bacon or smoked ham)
10 1/2 oz ground beef (we use deer meat)
Pinch ground cloves
3/4 cup beef broth
1 tablesoon tomato paste
1/2 cup cream

Melt the butter in a saucepan and saute the veges and bacon for a few minutes. Stir in meat and cloves, browning at high heat. Add broth, tomato paste, and salt and pepper to taste. Add enough water to the pot to cover the mixture. Continue cooking on low till the liquid is absorbed and you have a thick, smooth sauce (it will smell DELICIOUS). Turn off the heat and stir in the cream.

***

Now you are ready to make the actual lasagna. You will need:

Lasagna noodles to fit an 11x9 inch casserole -- use the no-boil noodles, or cook as the package directs.
1 small box frozen spinach -- thaw, drain, and squeeze out as much liquid as you can.

Prepare a bechamel sauce:
7 tablespoons butter
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups milk
grated nutmeg, salt, and pepper to taste
(Melt butter; whisk in flour till smooth. Gradually whisk in milk till smooth; cook over medium heat till the mixture becomes thickened and creamy. Season to taste.)

You will also need 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese.

Grease your baking dish and layer pasta - bechamel - ragu - cheese. Repeat layers to fill dish, finishing with a layer of pasta.

Bake at 350 - 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes, or till heated through. Let sit a moment before cutting.

What he said

2011-01-24T07:52:00.000-08:00

"God's Little Mountain"
Geoffrey Hill, ca. 1952

Below, the river scrambled like a goat
Dislodging stones. The mountain stamped its foot,
Shaking, as from a trance. And I was shut
With wads of sound into a sudden quiet.

I thought the thunder had unsettled heaven,
All was so still. And yet the sky was riven
By flame that left the air cold and engraven.
I waited for the word that was not given,

Pent up into a region of pure force,
Made subject to the pressure of the stars;
I saw the angels lifted like pale straws;
I could not stand before those winnowing eyes

And fell, until I found the world again.
Now I lack grace to tell what I have seen;
For though the head frames words the tongue has none.
And who will prove the surgeon to this stone?

Praying the End of the Story

2011-01-22T21:33:00.000-08:00

"My God -- my God! why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me? ... Oh my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest."

In Sunday School at my church here, we've been going through a series on prayer in the Bible. Last week, we studied Christ's prayer from the cross -- the gospel accounts of Christ's prayer all quote from Psalm 22. King David first wrote the words of Psalm 22, but they point unmistakeably to the Cross.

There is so much to learn, so much for which to be grateful in these few verses. Every time I read the passage, I am struck anew at how shocking, how grievous is my Christ's sacrifice on my behalf.
Because of his sacrifice, I can be confident that God will listen to my prayers with the loving attitude of a parent. For me, this means not being ashamed at my weak faith. It means coming boldly to God in all my imperfections -- and asking Him to make up for them. And believing that He wants to.

Look, too, at the way Jesus prays. The prayer divides into two distinct sections. The first section is a prayer of lamentation -- a cry of deep spiritual and physical anguish. "Oh my God, I cry by day ... and by night ... but I find no rest. ...Trouble is near, and there is none to help ... I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint ... you lay me in the dust of earth ... I can count all my bones." Even while he cries out in agony, though, the writer of Psalm 22 affirms what he knows about God: Even though I am in anguish, "Yet You are holy" (v 3). He appeals to the covenant relationship He has with God (9-10). He remembers past times when God has delivered him (21).

David/Christ's knowledge of Who God Is shapes the second part of his prayer. From verse 22, the psalm shifts from a present-tense cry for help to a future-tense certainty of God's goodness. Praise our great and worthy God, he says, even while he suffers (22-24).

We don't see how the psalmist's particular situation turns out -- whether he escapes persecution and suffering. What we do see is that his hope is that God hears the suffering of His servants. "The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied; those who seek him shall praise the Lord! May your hearts live forever." (26) What we see is the psalmist rejoicing that God will be worshiped as triumphant King (27-31).

Especially when I'm confused and scared, my prayers tend to sound like "Oh God, oh God, oh God, help me! What can I do? I can't handle this, God, oh God!" stuck in the stormy now, full of fear for the future.

So I've been trying to pray more like David, more like Christ. Say, "Oh God, hear me! I'm angry, I'm scared, I'm sad, I'm at the mercy of my emotions and my fears. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for getting me through this difficult time. Thank you for using this situation to make Your goodness known."

Just saying out loud those things I know are true -- that the present I hate and the future I can't see are in God's good and mighty hand -- helps me to persevere.

Y'all probably all figured that out a long time ago, but for what it's worth.

Tennessee January

2011-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

It's winter. January covers the browned hills in soft bluewhite, colours the sky a tender, rosy gray. The short walk over to Grammy's house next door turns into a fairytale trek; the muffled, hollow sounds of the trees, the boys in the trees, my boots crunching on the dead grass make my steps seem innumerable. I hunch over against the cold, see yesterday's shallow puddles frozen at my feet. Snow falling onto the ice has frozen into silver star shapes, delicate flowers, like a hand-beaded vintage dress. The cows in the field beside me are dressed in their own winter coats, snow powdered. They hunch over, shaggy and massive like buffalo. Stolidly ignoring the chill wind, while their winterborn calves frisk behind them like so many delicate fairies. At thirty degrees, the sky above is blank and tender, and every indrawn breath traces itself inside me, cold and sweet.

Jesus didn't die to save the person I wish I was

2011-01-19T09:37:00.000-08:00

Who do you want to be?

Since I was young, I was told that I was brilliant. For a while I believed it. This is who I wanted to be, the creator of astonishing beauty. This is much of what drove my efforts in artwork, music, words.

I wanted, also, to be a good person. To be self-sacrificing, honourable, strong.

It's hard to confront the fact that the person I thought I was doesn't really exist. That I am a lover of beauty, but not a creator. That I am much more selfish and frightened and weak than I wanted.

How much of my life has been running away from that confrontation? I've poured so much energy into staying thin enough to "feel like myself." Does looking at my thin or not-thin self in the mirror keep me busy enough not to have to look at my character, my true self?

God tells us throughout His word that we are created to show forth His glory. He made me to reflect Himself.

Thomas Merton writes,

     "Every one of us is shadowed by an illusory person: a false self. This is the man that I want myself to be but who cannot exist, because God does not know anything about him. ... My false and private self is the one who wants to exist outside the reach of God's will and God's love--outside of reality and outside of life. And such a self cannot help but be an illusion.
     We are not very good at recognizing illusions, least of all the ones we cherish about ourselves--the ones we are born with and which feed the roots of sin. For most of the people in the world, there is no greater subjective reality than this false self of theirs, which cannot exist. A life devoted to the cult of this shadow is what is called a life of sin.
     All sin starts from the assumption that my false self, the self that exists only in my own egocentric desires, is the fundamental reality of life to which everything else in the universe is ordered. Thus I use up my life in the desire for pleasures and the thirst for experiences, for power, honour, knowledge and love, to clothe this false self and construct its nothingness into something objectively real. And I wind experiences around myself and cover myself with pleasures and glory like bandages in order to make myself perceptible to myself and to the world, as if I were an invisible body that could only become visible when something visible covered its surface.
     But there is no substance under the things with which I am clothed. I am hollow, and my structure of pleasures and ambitions has no foundation. I am objectified in them. But they are all destined by their very contingency to be destroyed. And when they are gone there will be nothing left of me but my own nakedness and emptiness and hollowness, to tell me that I am my own mistake.

     "The secret of my identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God. ... Ultimately the only way that I can be myself is to become identified with Him in Whom is hidden the reason and fulfillment of my existence.
Therefore there is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him I will find myself and if I find my true self I will find Him." (New Seeds of Contemplation, 31-36)

"In order to become myself I must cease to be what I always thought I wanted to be, and in order to find myself I must go out of myself, and in order to live I have to die. The reason for this is that I am born in selfishness and therefore my natural efforts to make myself more real and more myself, make me less real and less myself, because they revolve around a lie." (47)

After regeneration, Merton says, "life becomes a series of choices between the fiction of our false self, whom we feed with the illusions of passion and selfish appetite, and our loving consent to the purely gratuitous mercy of God." (41)

Christ didn't die to save the beautiful person I want to be.

He came to save the person that I am. He looked at me -- me -- and called me His beloved bride.

So do I keep trying to believe I am the person who I want to be, the sad and shining heroine of my own lifestory? Do I distract myself from existence entirely?

Or do I take what I am -- what I really am, so much less than I desire -- and bring it to God? Humbly, gratefully, forget my own desires and seek only to know Him? Forget about the genius I wanted, and take up the small talents He gave me, and say, "Here am I for Your service"?

Missing You

2011-01-18T15:50:00.000-08:00

Anniversary Pasta

2010-06-29T17:54:00.000-07:00

... we should have taken a picture (it was gaw-geous, dahling), but we ate it instead.

Then we made it again the next week. And we still didn't take a picture.

VERMICELLI DI SCAMMARO
(Serves 2+ as main course, 4+ as side or first course)

1 tablespoon dark or golden raisins, soaked
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic
2 anchovies
1 tablespoon capers
3/4 cup black olives
1 tablespoon minced pine nuts
3 tablespoons bread crumbs
14 oz vermicelli (thin spaghetti)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley

This recipe works well prepared as a team. One person (for example, Dennis) actually cooks the pasta. The other (that would be Yours Truly) opens cans, chops nuts, measures ingredients, and eats all the olives that were left in the tin. Yes, all of them.

Cooking Together Is Fun, especially a special dinner for a special occasion. However, if you are a control-freak, as I happen to be, it sadly often becomes Tense and Frustrating instead. With that in mind, let me add another essential ingredient to the list:

A bottle of good wine

It can be white or red, whatever you like. It is very important to open the bottle before you get very far into recipe prep. Trust me, this will add enormously both to the fun of preparation and to the deliciousness of the final dish.

Once you get who does what sorted out, bring a pot of salted water to boil for pasta; cook al dente as directed on the box (about 7 minutes). Meanwhile, in another pan, heat olive oil and add the garlic, smashed and peeled but not minced. Sautee a minute or so till it smells AMAZING.

This is a good time to add some of the wine. This should be sipped slowly by the chef/sous chef, not added to the pot. You will want to add the anchovies to the pot, and mush them up as well as you can. Depending on how hungry you were before those first sips of wine, mashing the weird little pink fillets may seem delightfully funny. Or it may just seem gross. Trust me, the anchovies are an essential ingredient.

After they've cooked a minute, dump in the capers, olives, nuts, and raisins. (At this point, let me suggest using walnuts if the price sticker on the pine nuts at the grocery store gives you palpitations. We did -- it was awesome. Also, feel free to add more raisins if you like them. We are always a fan of adding more raisins.) Cook a few more minutes to let everything get all toasty and delicious, then fish out the garlic (if you are like us, you will then eat the crispy garlic. If that's a little too ... garlicky ... for you, feel free to just throw it away). Throw in those breadcrumbs and let them toast!

At this point, you may need a little more wine. Also, your pasta is probably about done. If both of these happen about the same time, please be CAREFUL as you drain the hot noodles and toss them in the beautiful, beautiful sauce.

This is an Italian sauce. No, there is not supposed to be more of it. There is enough sauce, and it will be DELICIOUS. Have it with meat and salad or all by its ownsome. With, of course, another glass of wine.

2010-06-20T18:45:00.000-07:00

As much as I love and respect and am grateful to my dad, this year Father's Day takes a backseat to a more important celebration. Dennis and I have been married one year -- I find that hard to believe! The past year has been so FULL. I think I have learned more about myself (not very fun!) and about God in one year as Dennis's Wife than in any four years together of my life as a daughter. I still have so much to learn about what it means to be part of this new family I have been given.

Being married is a lot (A LOT!) harder than I thought it would be -- and I thought my expectations were pretty reasonable, compared to the Disney happy-ever-after all the magazines suggest you ought to expect! But I am overwhelmed by how great, how very great a blessing marriage is at the same time. Hard, yes, but a source of encouragement, comfort, strength, sweetness, excitement, and fun. Just to know that, "for better or worse," next year, and the next year, and all the years God gives us, it's not going to be me, or even me and Dennis -- it's going to be Us, that strange two-headed creature I am just beginning to recognize.

We really had a lovely day -- working the opening shift at the coffee shop has taught me to appreciate slow, leisurely weekend breakfasts! A friend gave us a slightly-dilapidated but still deliciously functional French press, which makes our breakfast coffee even more of a treat. Then DH surprised me with a truly, truly amazing anniversary gift -- tickets to see the Des Moines Opera perform Le Nozze di Figaro. (!!!! bounce bounce) I am already excited! After church we had fun with capers, anchovies, and other strange and new (to us) ingredients -- Dennis had picked out THE MOST AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS pasta recipe (raisins, too!) and a savoury chicken recipe from an Italian cookbook his sister gave us. I think I can check off another pound gained! Oh, man, it was good. I'd post a picture, but there isn't anything left to take a picture of :)

Having fulfilled my quota both of Girly Smarm and of Husband Bragging for the week, I shall close. I would love to hear, Dear People whom I love and respect, any thoughts -- Deep Thoughts or fluff -- you care to share on Marriage and what it means.

Things You Learn While Moving House

2010-06-13T13:44:00.000-07:00

Our little move is accomplished! We are settling into our new home, and loving the convenience of living within walking distance of the university and of my new Coffee Shop Job! The week before the move, DH was up north on his Grand Canoeing Adventure, while I was working and packing and cleaning and generally feeling rather sorry for myself. Dennis's parents graciously endured the 11+-hour roadtrip from Tennessee in order to help us with the actual moving, so that part of the process was a lot faster and a lot more fun. Anyway, I've learned a few things during the process. I know many of my readers have done this several times over, but I thought I'd share anyway.

1. Things that you can't see still get dirty. You just can't see the dirt. I'm talking about the top shelf of the broom closet, tops of cabinets, the tops of fan blades, and other Things That Are Really, Really Far Up. Generally anything "top."

2. A husband is very useful when it comes to cleaning Things That Are Really, Really Far Up. Perhaps this is why many women are attracted to taller men -- they subconsciously realise how practical said men may be in future?

3. I am a fan of not buying expensive, strange-smelling cleaning solutions -- I pretty much use ammonia, baking soda, vinegar or lemon juice, and plain old dish soap for most chores. When it comes to really tough cleaning jobs, my mom's favorite cleaning secret is powdered laundry soap -- it's gritty and works as an abrasive as well as a cleanser. Great for grease in the kitchen, tub rings, etc. DH and I, alas, buy liquid laundry detergent, so I was thrilled to find an alternate scrubbing mixture online that worked really well in my bathroom. Just make a paste of salt, baking soda, and water -- use that to scrub bathroom surfaces, then wipe clean with a solution of water and lemon juice. Shiny!

4. With that said, last week I learned How To Use Oven Cleaner. That stuff is definitely not "green," but boy, does it work. I feel like a grownup now!

5. Moving is a GREAT opportunity to clean out the clothes closet. Shoes that are super-cute but a half-size too big? Out. Jeans that I may be able to wear ... after a couple of kids ... sometime after the next four years? Out. Very nice, grown-up looking tailored shirt that fits beautifully and just isn't my style at all? Out. Now I'm just wondering -- why did I hang onto those for so long? I haven't grown an inch in seven years. I think it's time to stop holding onto stuff "for next year"!

6. Pack books in small boxes. Sometimes you can ask your local liquor store when they get shipments and they will let you have some of their empty boxes. They are small and sturdy, although perhaps not the best option for Baptists :)

7. DH and I own thirteen and a half boxes' worth of books. In this house. I still have at least six boxes' worth at home (and yes, I made sure to write my name in permanent marker inside the covers!). Who cares if we're sleeping under his grungy college-days quilt and eating off a card table? We are rich!

8. People are WONDERFUL. DH's parents ... all the church families and the friends who offered boxes, packing paper, time and muscle ... I still have thank-you notes to write! Moving was a chance for us to be shown a lot of practical love, and I am so grateful at the people God has put into our lives! Again, we are rich!

9. Being separated from DH for a week was pretty rough -- I have a lot of admiration for my friends who are military wives -- but it was a great opportunity to be reminded of how grateful I am to be a part of this family, and how committed I am to "us," even though that looks a lot different from my default "me" mode. I love my husband!

Thanks to everyone for their prayers and good wishes while we were moving. I love you all!

YUM CURRY

2010-05-29T20:03:00.000-07:00

DH and I love curry -- especially spicy curry dishes -- and we have it quite often. We are trying to clean out our freezer before moving, so tonight we had a curry with the last of our frozen shrimp (probably won't be buying more anytime soon -- sigh). This recipe was very fast and easy to put together, and healthy too, so I thought I would share! I used serrano and jalapenos with seeds, so our curry was fairly spicy; if you use bell pepper, however, the curry won't be hot at all.

Don't be put off by the long ingredient list. If you use frozen shrimp, take them out to defrost. Start cooking the rice, then chop your vegetables and group them. As your pan heats, measure out your spices into a little bowl together, so you can add them all together -- the recipe will come together quickly, I promise!

The original recipe I found on some link from a BBC article, long lost. I have Americanized the ingredients and changed a few things to suit our taste, so I'm not going to feel bad about losing the source :) Let me know if you try it -- hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

SHRIMP & TOMATO CURRY (4 helpings)
1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 - 1 cup chopped pepper -- use bell or hot pepper(s) to your taste
3 tablespoons minced fresh ginger
4 - 5 cloves garlic, minced
SPICES: 1 teaspoon sugar, 1 teaspoon mustard seeds, 1 teaspoon ground cumin, 1 teaspoon ground coriander, 1 teaspoon turmeric, 1 tablespoon garam masala (Indian spice mix -- I use a mix of cinnamon, coriander, cayenne pepper, cumin, turmeric, cardamom and a bit of fennel -- you can also buy it pre-mixed in the store)
2 teaspoons cider vinegar
1 can (28 oz) whole tomatoes -- chop tomatoes into chunks, but save the liquid!
Shrimp enough for 4 people -- about 3/4 lb (I use the frozen kind, thawed)
Thin slice butter

Heat oil in a large skillet or pan and add the onion and peppers. Sprinkle with salt to taste and cook 8 minutes or so, till the vegetables are soft and the onions begin to color. Stir in the ginger and garlic; cook another minute, till fragrant. Stir in the sugar and spices to mix evenly. Add the vinegar, tomatoes, and some of the liquid from the tomato can. Simmer 4 or 5 minutes to thicken the sauce. Stir in the shrimp; reduce heat to a lowish simmer and cook till the shrimp is hot; add water if it gets too thick. Stir in a thin slice of butter.

Serve over rice; if desired, garnish with chopped cilantro, yoghurt, or chutney.

We often make a similar curry with canned butter beans (sounds weird, tastes great, and is super cheap) -- check out the other recipes on the site as well!

IT'S ALIVE.

2010-05-26T14:08:00.000-07:00

IT LIVES

... the blog, that is, thanks to y'all (you know who you are). We'll see how it goes! I could treat you all to an in-depth and inconclusive analysis about What I Think About That and Why I Decided To Write Anyway, but I'll spare you that and just try to update instead :) In that spirit, I give you -- The News.

IT MOVES

... the Pritzel family, that is. On June 7th, to be precise! (Address details will be sent to friends and family after the move, of course!) We are super excited to be moving into a new apartment complex that is right across the street from Dennis's university. No more scraping and shoveling in the black, bleak winter mornings! Even better for me (since DH is the one who did most of the scraping and shoveling, good man that he is), we will be much closer to some friends from school, AND the apartment complex is within walking distance from my new job, about which I am pleased to say

IT ROCKS!

OK, that's pretty immature. But I do really enjoy my work for a coffee shop about a block from DMU. I am so grateful to have found another job, and one that suits me so well. I enjoy the customer service part of the job, and I especially love driving the espresso machine. On my barista shifts, I feel like a daring space pilot -- we actually have a gleaming stainless-steel bank of four automatic espresso machines lined up, and they look and sound very sci-fi. Very impressive. I am pleased to say that I know the difference between a cappuccino and a macchiato, and can make a mean cafe mocha -- the recipe, of course, is a company secret ;)

IT'S WARM!!!

We are blessed (at the end of May, seriously!) with warm temperatures and high humidity! It truly feels like summer is on the way, and I am finally comfortable. YAY!!! I am also super-excited that Dennis has completed his first year of med school. He has worked so hard this year -- I am really proud of what he has accomplished, and can't wait to see what he will do in the next few years together. In the meantime, he has a few weeks of absolutely NOTHING to do. Except, of course, participate in a Grand Adventure In A Canoe, and haul about 1600 boxes of books to our new place :)

We love y'all! See you soon!

Why Blog??

2010-05-13T07:19:00.000-07:00

By now you have noticed the Deadness of the Blog. You may have written me an email. You may be about to give up and delete your bookmark.

I have a question for you.

To what end the blog?

I began it as a way to keep faraway friends and family updated. After a year or so, though, I've noticed how much my blog is simply a forum for me to indulge my melancholy self-absorption. And I'm not even funny! I don't have a lot of wisdom or grace to share (for that, visit my mom -- she will make you laugh AND make you think!).

Not Cool. Not helpful to other people, not helpful to me, certainly not to the glory of God!

If I do continue writing regularly, I think I need a Goal or a Purpose that is bigger than How I'm Feeeeeeeeeeling. Or, maybe, a narrower focus (this would be easier if I could take gorgeous photos or had some obvious skill besides navelgazing and regret).

I would welcome your thoughts and suggestions.

A Short Rant, a Hard Truth, and Something Funny to Make Up for it.

2010-03-23T10:26:00.000-07:00

Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be English lit. majors. I am truly, truly grateful for kind interest and helpful suggestions about work from people. And yes, there is a BUT. I am just tired of the "Have you considered ...?" and the "Have you thought about ..?" and the "Have you tried ...?" The answer is YES, okay? Yes, I have considered, I have thought about, and I have tried. And now I am receiving "thanks for applying, this position has been filled, we will keep your resume on file" notices for part-time grocery checker positions.

God has really shown me a lot of pride and insecurity throughout this process. Not easy to learn, but I am grateful that He is doing that for me. I am praying for a heart that is humble, hopeful, and focused on service. This is still in progress, as evinced by my fed-up-ness with the conversation above. Really? What kind of a response to loving interest and desire to help is that?

I promised something funny. And here it is, continuing last week's Star Wars theme no less. What do you know? A B.A. in English Literature is good for something, after all!

Me, Darth Maul, and Other Fugitives (Long)

2010-03-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Sleeping in, dates at Starbucks, and just plain going grocery shopping together. I am loving DH’s spring break! My admirable husband is keeping up with his studies, but we're still taking advantage of the extra free time. We've even started re-viewing the Star Wars hexology. Yes, all six movies. Even Episode I. (What WAS George Lucas thinking? Then again, I can see how the brain that came up with Ewoks, after several years' slow decline into senility, might think that Jar Jar Binks was actually a hilarious idea.)

Regardless of its strengths or weaknesses as a movie, I have a secret fondness for Episode I. You see, it features two of my favourite characters. My fondness for these two has nothing to do with their role in the story or the skill with which their actors portray them.

I like Queen Amidala. Not Padme, the emotive "handmaiden"; not the sensual, inexplicably older-but-apparently-grown-completely-STUPID Senator of Episode II, but the padded and painted Queen. I like her because of her outrageously voluminous, outrageously numerous ceremonial costumes. You could stick Jabba the Hutt in those gorgeous robes, paint his face, and tie on a thirty-pound headdress, and call him Queen Amidala, and as long as he spoke in an emotionless monotone no one would be able to tell the difference.

And I like Darth Maul. You see, he's got a full set of armor, tattooed in red and black stripes across his face. He could be giggling uncontrollably, grimacing in fear, or weeping with the tortuous weight of guilt he's accumulated from his years of Sithly deeds. And all anyone would be able to see would be Tattooed Scary Evil Guy.

Why do I like those characters? Because they're safe. Nobody can see anything but the functional role they have assumed. Padme's heart can be broken (although really - Hayden Whatsisname acting like a thirteen-year-old Artistic Soul?) -- Queen Amidala's heart is invisible. Unassailable. All that is there is the even performance of her function as Queen.

Kind of a long and nerdy intro, I know. I've been reading this book, by Ed Welch. As the title suggests, it's about what's up when other people become more important to a person (viz, me) than God. When other people become the focus of idolatry.

Do I define myself by who I am in Christ?

Or do I feel insecure when I can't compete with or measure up to others? Am I afraid of being laughed at? Of not being liked? Am I unable to say "no" when people ask me for commitments? Do I feel responsible for helping others and fixing their problems? Do I tell "little white lies" to smooth over difficult situations? To avoid offending people? Do I need to prove my independence from others? Do I avoid people? Do I feel that my "low self-esteem" is holding me back?

Do I fear God, or do I fear people?

This is a scary, scary book. It is a book that is not afraid to shine the light of truth into the scariest corners of our hearts. Reading it, I am confronted with my heart. It's not fun. I feel exactly like Eustace. Like God is peeling off all my makeup. And then my clothes. And then my skin.

My heart wants to be like Queen Amidala or Darth Maul. No, I don't want to rule the galaxy via the Dark Side of the Force. But, almost more than anything, I want to be functional -- unassailable -- in the ways those characters are. I want "people" to perceive me as someone who fulfills her role. Smoothly. I don't want them to see the inadequacies, the fears, the petty self-indulgences. I want a mask in the shape of my own face -- a mask that doesn't let through pouts or tears.

Why is it so important that others think of me -- not as someone extraordinary -- but as someone "functional"? So much so that, in the vast majority of my relationships, I exchange superficiality for real love and service?

Mr. Welch suggests that my tendency to hide from "people" is an indicator that I want to hide from God. Or perhaps, worded differently, a way to distract myself from the terror of that (inescapable!) Knowing.

Has anyone else read this book? What did you think?

News & Notes

2010-03-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Some exciting things have happened this week.

DENNIS IS ON SPRING BREAK!!!! He has a test right afterward, but without extra lectures to worry about, we should have plenty of time to hang out and have fun ... and look at potential new apartments. After our first year of commuting through winter weather, an apartment closer to DH's university sounds more and more attractive!

***

The study schedule being less frantic, we have been playing DH's new game, Agricola. I am loving a strategy game that is about, get this, farming instead of world domination. I highly recommend this game -- it's fun, makes you use your brain but doesn't take three days to play, and is really well designed. Not to mention the fact that I can TOTALLY play with the goal of not being in debt at the end, instead of racking up the most points (I haven't "won" a game yet). Hey, my family is from small-farm Tennessee. A big profit from a family farm? Yeah, right!

Then again, the game is set in a (hilariously-illustrated) 16th-century. Whatever. It's fun anyway!

***

I got hit by a car. Apparently the nice family in the red van forgot they had a stop sign AND completely failed to notice that an enormous blue tank of a car was entering the intersection. By the grace of God, no one was hurt and damage to the vehicles was not too bad. I am very grateful that nobody was hurt, and that Mrs. Red Van's insurance is paying for repairs.

My brother Nathaniel is emphatically NOT allowed to read this last.

A Visit To The Des Moines Botanical Center

2010-03-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

Outside looks like everywhere: great slabs of white snow marbled with dirt and gravel. Gray pavement glazed over with pitted, grimy ice. Colourless, cold sky. Everything is flat, blank, bleak. The geodesic panes of the greenhouse rise from the parking lot with science-fiction strangeness.

Inside the dome: whorls and curlicues and tendrils. The air is exuberant, heavy with pollen and the lemony smell of growth. Green unfolds and uncurls itself, presses into every centimeter of space. Fullness of stems and fronds and buds and lacebitten leaves. Cursive scribbles of moss fill the spaces on the treestems; aggressive ferns push up beneath broad, spiral palms. The flowers are profuse and jubilant. They lack the decorous beauty of garden flowers, exploding in unnatural, chemical-bright splashes of scarlet, orange, fuchsia, magenta. Their shapes are exotic: frilled, curled, spider-legged, flat alien disks. Not ornamental, but aggressively, unmistakably sexual: anatomy-book closeups, unshy, flamebeautiful.

We few refugees from winter wander two-by-two, wide eyed. Unconsciously our fingers hover near jewelbright leaves and petals (don’t touch!). Human sparrow-pairs, drab in this peacock garden.

An elderly, besuited gentleman, very round of shoulder, very pink of skin, very white of hair. His fluting tulip-wife beside him, immaculately groomed, tastefully brooched and suited.

The longhaired child, elflike even in her denim jumper, darting and peering: purple orchids (look mom! my favorite color), scary cactus, goldflashing carp. Mom, dumpy and solicitous, smiles.

A peroxide mane, 1980s smear of eyeshadow, cell phone glued to her ear. This woman is ludicrously obese, triple-chinned. Her stretch leggings (look twice, three times: still true!) painted over her lumpy, enormous behind. Thirty years ago she was smacking her gum, gossiping with the same girlfriends about the same (white—harmless?) trash. Ah—behind her, the longtime biker boyfriend, his badboy looks settled now into grizzled, shaggy self-confidence, stuffed into the same Harley tshirt and acidwashed jeans. These two belong together: middle-aged, unglamorous now, unbeautiful. They hardly look at one another; she smacks into her cell phone (she what? Gawd!), he strides behind his proud beerbelly, jingling in his boots. Leaving the greenhouse their arms drift around one another in an unplanned, habitual tenderness.

A thin girl, roundfaced and spectacled, in a little boy's black tshirt. She links hands with her boyfriend, listens as he crouches down to peer at the variegated undersides of leaves, points out the bunch of infant bananas (we had a banana tree once, the fruits fingerlength, thickskinned and bitter). Near the artificial stream there is a creaking, unsteady bench, baking in the sunwarmth trapped by the glass ceiling. Turtle-like, she sits and closes her eyes. Green presses through the thin skin of her eyelids: in great lime-coloured whorls, in sharpedged blades, in saucers and curls and chartreuse tendrils.

And Here's A World Of Beauty

2010-02-25T12:56:00.000-08:00

"When Death Comes." By Mary Oliver, New and Selected Poems. Beacon Press, 1992. 10-11.

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measle-pox;

when death comes
like an iceberg between the shoulder-blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth,
tending, as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

WHen it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it's over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited the world.

"Goldenrod." Oliver, 17-18.

On roadsides,
    in fall fields,
        in rumpy bunches,
            saffron and orange and pale gold,

in little towers,
    soft as mash,
        sneeze-bringers and seed-bearers,
            full of bees and yellow beads and perfect flowerlets

and orange butterflies.
    I don't suppose
        much notice comes of it, except for honey,
            and how it heartens the heart with its

blank blaze.
    I don't suppose anything loves it except, perhaps,
        the rocky voids
            filled by its dumb dazzle.

For myself,
    I was just passing by, when the wind flared
         and the blossoms rustled,
             and the glittering pandemonium

leaned on me.
    I was just minding my own business
        when I found myself on their straw hillsides,
            citron and butter-colored,

and I was happy, and why not?
    Are not the difficult labors of our lives
        full of dark hours?
            And what has consciousness come to anyway, so far,

that is better than these light-filled bodies?
    All day
        on their airy backbones
            they toss in the wind,

they bend as though it was natural and godly to bend,
    they rise in a stiff sweetness,
        in the pure peace of giving
            one's gold away.

The Paragon Of Animals

2010-02-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

obviously. My life is so FULL of angelic action and godlike apprehension. Yes, it is time for another Update, should you be interested in what's going on. Mostly what's going on is in my head, right now. If you don't feel like indulging my self-absorption, check it out -- these crosswords are the best thing ever.

WHY I AM PROUD OF MY HUSBAND
... because he is so diligent and hardworking in his studies. Not to mention intelligent. I was helping him review vocab for a quiz the other night, and I couldn't even pronounce the definitions. DH could supply the definition (and pronounce it!) and he even knew what it meant. And he's making very good grades -- a big deal in medical school!

WHY I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A JOB
"As an English lit major, there are two job descriptions for which I qualify: low-paying secretarial position, or even lower-paying secretarial position." -- Probably misquoted line from this amusing but forgettable mystery (couldn't resist the Austen reference!), by Tracy Kiely.

Ms. Kiely, if you are reading, please don't sue me. I returned the book to the library, and it's checked out now, so I can't go back and correct the reference. Truly it wouldn't be worth your time. I have a B.A. in English literature.

In fact, I tried the low-paying secretarial position and even that was too much for me. I see a red polo and a grocery checkout line in my future ... that's After Winter future. I need to gain at least five pounds (probably ten, but ... not going to think about that) and figure out how to stop having emotional freakouts first. Inexplicable, uncontainable fits of weeping or panic or whatever do not fit well in a professional environment.

DH and I are hoping to move nearer to his school this spring, and my plan is to arrive at Reasonably Functional Adulthood by then, and then get another job. I suspect that green and warm will help a lot. Meanwhile I am reading a lot of novels and drawing super-deformed pandabears and robot smily faces.

So that's why, no, I'm not really looking for a job right now.

Although if anyone needs a regular babysitter/nanny, I would make an AWESOME nanny. Just sayin.'

WHY I AM NOT WRITING.
^See above.

WHY I LOVE MY SAVIOUR
I can't quite say "because he keeps me sane" (see above), but ... because he keeps me safe even when I'm not sane. Even when I'm too stuck in the insanity to take a breath and remember that.
Because he saves me from what I deserve. Because he knows me -- all of me. He knows me, and he loves me!
Because he offers me the sure hope of a good world -- a world that will be what it was made to be.
Because he put me in this world that -- snow and all -- can take my breath away with its sheer, unexpected beauty.
Because he has blessed me with the love of so many dear, dear people.
Because he is, completely, in and of Himself, beautiful, lovely, excellent, right in a way that anything else can only shadow.

For My Mother

2010-02-19T08:20:00.000-08:00

Some verses that remind me that my justification before God is completely secure -- because it is completely in Christ's perfect merit:

From Isaiah 47:

¹⁵Truly, you are a God who hides himself,
   O God of Israel, the Savior.
¹⁶All of them are put to shame and confounded;
   the makers of idols go in confusion together.
¹⁷But Israel is saved by the LORD
   with everlasting salvation;
you shall not be put to shame or confounded
   to all eternity.
¹⁸For thus says the LORD,who created the heavens
   (he is God!),
who formed the earth and made it
   (he established it;
hedid not create it empty,
    he formed it to be inhabited!):
"I am the LORD, and there is no other.
¹⁹ I did not speak in secret,
   in a land of darkness;
I did not say to the offspring of Jacob, 'Seek me in vain.'
I the LORD speakthe truth;
   I declare what is right.
²⁰"Assemble yourselves and come;
   draw near together,
   you survivors of the nations!
They have no knowledge
   who carry about their wooden idols,
and keep on praying to a god
   that cannot save.
²¹Declare and present your case;
   let them take counsel together!
Who told this long ago?
   Who declared it of old?
Was it not I, the LORD?
   And there is no other god besides me,
a righteous God and a Savior;
   there is none besides me.
²²"Turn to me and be saved,
all the ends of the earth!
   For I am God, and there is no other.
²³By myself I have sworn;
   from my mouth has gone out inrighteousness
   a word that shall not return:
'To me every knee shall bow,
   every tongue shall swear allegiance.'
²⁴"Only in the LORD, it shall be said of me,
   are righteousness and strength;
to him shall come and be ashamed
all who were incensed against him.
²⁵In the LORD all the offspring of Israel
   shall be justified and shall glory."

From Romans 8:

³¹What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
³²He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?
³³Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
³⁴Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God,who indeed is interceding for us.
³⁵Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?

Book Recommendation

2010-02-17T12:44:00.000-08:00

Salvage, by Jane Kotapish.

We meet two sisters in the novel's first chapter: the protagonist, and her sister, whom she names Nancy, and who talks to her unnamed sister in her bedroom closet. Nancy, miscarried by their mother, is full of persistent questions about the world she never saw; rejected by her mother's womb, she is obsessed with finding a home.

Nearly 30 years later, transplanted to New York and far away from her childhood home and Nancy, the protagonist takes part in a tragic, pointless accident. In an attempt to salvage what she can of her sanity, she moves back to Virginia and buys a house of her own. Makes a friend of the harried housewife next door. Tries to figure out how to relate with her quirky (probably delusional) mother. Tries to remember, and tries to forget.

Salvage doesn't offer solutions to the difficulty that is living in this world. What it does offer is a sometimes humorous, always haunting exploration of the puzzle. Kotapish's prose reads like a poem -- the novel is sheer joy to read -- and she wisely crafts a protagonist who does not take herself too seriously. This is a book worth remembering.

Find it here on amazon.com.

Church Cookbook, Part III

2010-02-15T12:31:00.001-08:00

I love potlucks. Mostly because I like sitting around and visiting. I seem to have gifted my new family with the Kendall tendency to being the last ones out the door at any church function!

It's interesting the kind of food people bring to potlucks. For a lot of church members, potluck is a place for special dishes. Not the sliced sirloin with mushroom cream sauce, or the fancy genoise with raspberry-chocolate ganache filling -- but the kind of dishes that are fairly simple to prepare, will survive a morning in Tupperware or the crock pot -- and that taste so delicious that, at the end of the meal, the cook hardly has to clean out the casserole dish. People bring to potlucks the kind of food they like to eat.

Where I come from (the South, y'all!), that means gooey, for the desserts and the meal. The potluck table would always have two or three hashbrown casseroles (frozen potatoes -- cream soup -- Cheddar cheese -- cracker topping), at least that many pots of macaroni and cheese (every church lady had her own recipe!), chicken and dressing casserole, chicken and noodle casserole, vegetable casserole -- anything that you could slap in a casserole dish with cream soup, cheese, and cracker crumb topping, it was pretty much guaranteed to be there. There might be a vegetable casserole -- a dish of corn -- maybe some green beans or blackeye peas, or a salad.

Here in Des Moines -- not so much. I've only been to potlucks at our new church, Redeemer PCA, so I don't know if our church is typical of the region. But at the monthly potluck dinner, DH and I are likely to find curry (!), pasta salad, green salad, meatballs, roasted carrots. Maybe one dish of macaroni and cheese or spaghetti casserole. If anyone wants to speculate on why, let me know!

With that monster lead-in, how about another Southern Church Cookbook special? This is actually (gasp) a SALAD.

Of sorts.

PEA SALAD

1 can English peas, drained

2 boiled eggs, chopped

1/2 small onion, chopped

3-4 dill pickles, chopped

4 oz Velveeta, cubed

2 tablespoons mayonnaise

2 tablespoons sour cream

Combine all ingredients. Chill and serve.

This might not be so bad if you actually LIKE mayonnaise and American cheese (I don't!).

I'm Not Short! I'm Just On the Short Side of Average!

2010-02-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

It's true, y'all. Anyway I was trying to come up with a clever pun to introduce a recipe and that was the best I could come up with. FAIL.

This SHRIMP recipe was first prepared for my family by my Great-Aunt Jean, when we visited her and my Uncle Whit in Pensacola. I don't remember if we had it on the trip when I was 4-ish, or the trip when I was 11-ish. We did not prepare it often growing up (shrimp is expensive if you don't live next to the ocean!), but it was always a favourite. Now that I think of it, it's around Mardi Gras time, so something Creole should be appropriate, right?

This is pretty close to Aunt Jean's recipe, but I've made a few changes to suit our taste. Actually, I googled Shrimp Creole recipes, and people put ALL kinds of stuff in this. Chicken broth -- interesting. Mustard and bay -- might actually be worth a try. Bacon -- sure, if you want Shrimp Creole that tastes like bacon. I don't. Heavy cream -- s c a r y. This is a simple, fast, very fresh and clean-tasting version. It's not even really hot, unless you add lots of hot sauce. Which I did.

SHRIMP CREOLE
Serves: 4 (large helpings)
Preparation time: 35 - 45 minutes

1 tablespoon olive oil (or vegetable oil)
1 medium onion, chopped
2 stalks celery, chopped (you can totally leave this out if you don't have any)
1 large green bell pepper, chopped
2 - 3 cloves garlic, minced
Salt to taste
1 teaspoon sugar
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
Good shake or two (or three, or four) Tabasco sauce -- to taste
1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, with juice
1 can (8 oz) tomato sauce -- or use tomato paste and a little water
Large or jumbo frozen, peeled and deveined shrimp -- however much you think four people will eat (I always use less than the recipe calls for, because shrimp is freaking expensive).
1/2 cup good red wine

Heat oil in a big old pot. (If you have been married for less than a year, a big new pot is acceptable.) Add onion, celery, and bell pepper and cook until soft (about 7 minutes). Add garlic and cook another few seconds, till fragrant. Stir in sugar, chili powder, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, and tomatoes. Bring to a boil; simmer, uncovered, 15 - 25 minutes, or until it gets thick and saucy. (My aunt's recipe calls for thickening with cornstarch. I haven't bothered the past few times I've made this. Dinner survived beautifully.)

At this point, if you've forgotten to get your shrimp out of the freezer, you might want to run them under cold water until they don't stick together anymore.

Stir in thawed (or close enough) shrimp and wine. Up the heat a bit and cook another few minutes. That's another FEW minutes -- as in, 3 - 5 max. Any longer and you'll get Shrimp-Flavoured Chewing Gum Creole.

Serve over hot white rice, with plenty of Tabasco.
Fresh or frozen green beans -- not canned -- are a great accompaniment. Cornbread is also awesome.
This makes a beautiful dinner. Save the heavy cream for an awesome dessert!

How Do You Pray?

2010-02-10T14:27:00.000-08:00

We were in Matthew 14 Sunday -- the passage where Jesus walks out on the water to a boatful of seriously freaked-out disciples. By the time their master approaches them, the disciples are in a bad state. Stormy weather, scary sea, and on top of everything, it's "the fourth watch of the night" -- between 3 and 6 am. It's the darkest part of the night, and the disciples are exhausted from hours of rowing.

It's also, as Pastor Larson pointed out, the time of night right before dawn.

If I were my mom I'd have a Deep, Encouraging Yet Also Somehow Hilarious Message about what the gospel means to the really, really dark times in life. Instead, I'm going to talk about how much I hate winter. Y'all, it is definitely the Fourth Watch of the Winter here. And it is not pretty. I'm holding out hope for spring, because I know it's coming, but meanwhile I crawl around the apartment like a lethargic snake. I avoid looking out the window. And I snarl at my poor, patient husband.

Because I have the soul of a poet (at least I use that as my excuse for being messy), I get depressed pretty easily. I've always prayed a lot. I'm pretty good about praying for the people I love, because I think about them a lot. But this winter, God has really convicted me that WAY too much of my praying is nothing but self-indulgence.

We probably all have a friend who will call and talk for hours about how she's doing, and somehow never gets around to asking what's going on in our life. Well, a lot of the time, that's me talking to God. My days are filled with "Lord, I feel awful, please help me, please remind me of your goodness, please help me trust you and hang on here," et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

That, my friends, is LAME.

So my latest strategy is not just to stand in the living room moaning to Jesus about how unhappy I am, and how awful I feel because I'm such a worthless, ungrateful, whiny human being. Instead, I go into the bedroom, and I take out my current Black Book, and I start by writing a page of things that I am genuinely grateful for. Not things I should be grateful for, things I am grateful for. And then I pray. First I thank God for all his gifts, and then I confess my stinky attitude, and then just talk about whatever I need to.

So I still am mildly depressed a lot of the time, but I find myself with a lot more peace, and so much, much, much gratitude. I know being more deliberate about my prayers is really a no-brainer. This post isn't a How-To -- it's a Thank You.

Because after filling a lot of pages in my Black Book with "grateful lists," I am overwhelmed by the people God has put into my life. Family, friends, church family -- even the people I am only beginning to know. I have been so surrounded by love.

Sure, I'm grateful for all the stuff, but mostly I'm grateful for the people. If you're reading this, that probably means you.

So I just wanted to let you know. Thank you.

God is very good.

Jesus is the Real Chocolate

2010-02-02T08:42:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday to my Dear Husband!

Growing up, there was always an index card taped to the door of a kitchen cabinet -- the one my Mom looked at every day as she prepared meals, wiped down the counter, picked up (AGAIN) all the toys and papers and miscellaneous junk that we kids somehow never got around to putting away. Over time the ink on the index card faded until you could hardly read it, but I had seen the card so often that I remembered the words without even looking at them:

"But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ.

"More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ." (Philippians 3:7-8, NASB)

I don't presume to say anything about what these verses meant to my Mom. That is her story. But to me -- let's just say that I am a perfectionist, and a legalist. For a long time I thought that being righteous meant giving things up for God. You saved me -- I owe you -- I don't really have anything I can give you -- but I can suffer loss for you. Everything that I want or enjoy, that I give up, is paying you back a little bit. Somehow, everything that is taken from me adds to my virtue. If you asked me, I could tell you that this mindset was not the truth -- but in my heart, it's what I believed.

That is NOT what God says. That is NOT the Gospel. The Gospel is not about suffering loss, or giving things up -- it is about gaining Christ. And what pleases God is not that I take satisfaction in my own sacrifice or loss, but that I be overwhelmed with delight in the amazing thing I have been given -- that I rejoice with "a joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory."

From the prophecies of Isaiah (read 35, 51, 55), to the angels' message to the shepherds in Bethlehem, to the teachings of Jesus Himself, the message of all the ages of God's interactions with His people is that Christ Himself is our joy. He brings us back into a relationship with the Father. He loves us with an unshakeable love. Christ is how we can adore God as our hearts long to.

When you find a treasure so beautiful it gives you that kind of joy, it isn't loss to sell everything you had before.

Imagine you spent your whole life craving chocolate. You buy Hersheys kisses and M&Ms. You have one of those instant pudding cup-things after every meal. You drink hot chocolate by the bucketful. You even clip pictures of death-by-chocolate cakes from magazines and tape them to your wall. Somehow, it's never quite good enough.

Then someone gives you a bar of this stuff:

and you realize why none of your magazine pictures or Hershey's milk chocolate ever satisfied you.

Ye fearful saints

2010-01-30T07:44:00.000-08:00

I have a text addiction. I read print compulsively. I am the kind of person who not only reads any and all books, magazines, and instruction manuals lying around, but who ALSO is unable to resist reading, for example, the small print on the back of the toothpaste container. Yes, I know it's boring. I read it anyway.

After about two years' worth of overnight visits to my grandparents', I had read all of my Dad's old history books, my Aunt's Harlequin romance novels, my Grammy's Chicken Soup books, and her cookbooks. My uncle's sports books had, strangely,. no attraction to me whatsoever. So I started reading my Grammy's collection of Guideposts magazine. She had issues she had saved from since before I was born!

I have to confess, I was a very arrogant young person. I sneered at the feel-good, I Believe In Angels, But I Try Not to Actually Think About Anything Too Hard kind of theology that a lot of the Guideposts stories exhibited. I especially sneered at the first verse of the poem "God Moves In A Mysterious Way," which appeared in every issue at the head of a short account of some miraculous cure or something.

Then I grew up, and had Issues, and lost some of my superior attitude, and read the whole poem, and the story behind it, and now it is one of my favourite hymns.

You see, the poet who wrote the words, William Cowper (that's COO-per, not COW-per), was a devoted Christian who wrote the words to many hymns. He also struggled with depression throughout his life. He spent a period in a mental institution (not a happy place to be in the 18th century), and attempted suicide at least once. Throughout his life, Cowper struggled with doubts about his own faith and salvation.

And he wrote this hymn:

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform.
He plants His footsteps in the sea
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill
He treasures up His bright designs
And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take--
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace--
Behind a frowning Providence
He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
Unfolding every hour.
The bud may have a bitter taste,
But sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err
And scan (interpret) His work in vain.
God is His own interpreter,
And He will make it plain.

Dear Reader, surely this poem is not about the way God can miraculously cure someone suffering from cancer (although I believe He has done so, more than once). This poem offers encouragement to someone who sees no cure in sight. What a beautiful affirmation! What an encouraging reminder of the truth that it is God who saves us. That we may be overcome by our circumstances or feelings, but that God has a good and beautiful plan that He is accomplishing. We can trust Him, even when we cannot trust ourselves, if that makes sense. God can save someone like Cowper. God can use someone with a faith that seems feeble, at times even inadequate, to encourage hundreds of Christians. To bear witness to His goodness and His faithfulness. I may be tempted by despair, but I know that a good God holds my life in His hand. Even the dark bits of it. Not because of my faithfulness, but because of his faithfulness, "all shall be very well."

And if you haven't read my Mom's latest, do so!

I Always Avoid Posting

2010-01-26T09:26:00.000-08:00

when I am not super happy. But since I don't have any thing enormously positive to share, and I don't want to drop off the face of the earth, it's Recipe Time! This is another one I cobbled together from different recipes. It's really good. You could probably modify it to fit the slow cooker as well ... This smells AMAZING, and it's really pretty too!. As always, spice measurements are approximate!

SOUP OF THE WEEK

Serves: 2+
Couple handfuls chickpeas (about 1/2 - 2/3 cup)
1 teaspoon fat (from the chicken broth, or vegetable or olive oil)
1 large carrot, scrubbed and sliced into thick chunks
1/2 onion, chopped
1 1/2 teaspoons minced or grated fresh ginger
1 scant teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon turmeric
Salt and black pepper
1 tablespoon tomato paste
2 cups broth -- I used homemade chicken stock
1/2 cup (ish) cooked, chopped chicken (I used leftovers from Saturday's dinner)
If using dried chickpeas, you can quick-soak them by bringing them to a boil in a pot of water, then simmering for an hour or two until they are almost tender. Otherwise, just use canned chickpeas (about 1/2 can, I guess) and skip the soaking part.
When ready to prepare soup, heat oil and saute onion and carrot 5-10 minutes, or till just about tender. Add ginger and spices; cook another minute or so, till fragrant. Stir in tomato paste and broth, then add chickpeas and chicken meat. Reduce heat, cover partway, and let simmer till everything is tender or until time for dinner. If you want more of a stew, use less broth and cook uncovered to thicken.
Really good served over couscous. When I have homemade chicken stock I like to cook the couscous in that instead of in water -- mm!

OK, I changed my mind. I DO have something enormously positive to share. Because even if I am not at a great place right now, God is faithful. We have a sure hope. As my mom says, "All shall be very well."

"How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I take counsel in my soul
    and have sorrow in my heart all the day?
How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?
Consider and answer me, O Lord my God--
    Light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,
    lest my enemy say "I have prevailed over him,"
    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.
But I have trusted in your steadfast love;
    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.
I will sing to the Lord,
    because he has dealt bountifully with me."
(Psalm 13)

All other love is like the moon:

2010-01-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

For your reading pleasure, a late Medieval lyric. Always provided my modernisation of the language is not hopelessly obscure. This is one of my favourites.

All other love is like the moon:
It waxes and wanes, like a meadow flower
That buds, and blooms, and fades full soon,
Like a day that runs swiftly, and ends in rain.

All other love begins with bliss,
But ends in weeping and in woe:
No love can offer perfect solace
But that which rests in heaven's King,

Whose love is daily fresh and green,
And ever full, and never wanes.
His love is sweet, it has no sting,
His love is endless and unfailing.

All other love I leave for thee;
Tell me, tell me, where thou liest?
"Such love may be found, full free
In Mary mild -- but more in Christ."

Christ, I did not find you -- you found me.
Hold me to yourself with all your might,
Give me that my love may be steadfast,
And not turn, again, so soon aside.

Whenever now my heart is sore,
When, indeed, foes spill its blood --
God kens my life, I care no more--
My hope is this: his will is good.

Alas! What may I do at Rome?
But only say, by law of love:
"I were undone by man's just doom,
But he is my Helper, that sits above."

Shrimp & Curry Pasta

2010-01-17T12:18:00.000-08:00

Here's another "pantry recipe" that is different, healthy, and delicious. It comes together in fewer than 20 minutes, and tastes very light and fresh (despite the fact that all the ingredients come from a can or the freezer!).

SHRIMP & CURRY PASTA
Serves: 3 - 4 (depending on size of portions and whether you serve with a side dish)

2 cups (8 oz) penne (regular or whole-wheat)
2 tablespoons butter
1 smallish yellow onion, diced
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
Pinch crushed red pepper flakes
1 cup drained, diced tomatoes (1/2 a 14-oz can)
1 cup frozen green peas
8 oz frozen ready-cooked small shrimp, thawed
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (or use 2 tablespoons fresh basil, or add dried herb of choice)

Cook penne till al dente (see directions on package).
Meanwhile, heat 1 tablespoon of the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Add onion and saute 5 minutes, or till tender. Stir in spices and salt (if using dried parsley or another dried herb, add with spices) and cook 30 seconds, or till fragrant. Stir in pasta, peas, shrimp, tomatoes, fresh herbs if using, and the other 1 tablespoon of butter. Cook about 5 minutes longer, stirring, or till heated through. Serve at once.

NOTES: This is good with steamed broccoli or fresh green beans. Corn would be a good side dish, too. Frozen shrimp thaws in just a few minutes if you let it sit in cold tap water.

A Lot About Austen

2010-01-16T09:42:00.000-08:00

A friend invited me over yesterday to watch Sense and Sensibility (the BBC verison, not the Ang Lee). I'll admit it--I love Jane Austen. I've read her novels and watched the film adaptations multiple times, and they never get old!

My husband, on the other hand, is not a huge fan. Like my brothers--OK, like most males--sees Jane Austen as something to be endured for the sake of "the girls." I remember Movie Night bartering growing up. A war movie was definitely cause for a "girl movie" like Sense and Sensibility the next weekend, but it took a LOT of "boy movies" to equal the six-tape-long Pride and Prejudice!

Although a few men do appreciate Austen's characterization and wit for its own sake (Dad, you are a rare jewel!), I can understand why her novels and the film adaptations appeal mostly to women. Her interest is in the experiences and perspectives of women of her own class, and the expectations and limitations placed on them by society. She writes of domestic concerns, primarily love and marriage.

So, in a way, any Jane Austen is a sort of "chick lit" or "chick flick." One thing that sets her far above the mass of romantic movies and novels aimed at women, though, is the kind of relationship she portrays as desirable. After growing up with Jane Austen, I find it difficult to believe in or care about romances that follow what I'll call the "Disney Formula" -- where True Love is an undeniable, static, often instantaneous Feeling. You know: instant attraction, plot complications, realization that you are Soul Mates, cue violins, Happily Ever After, The End. The focus is on the attraction, that undescribable connection between the principal characters.

In Austen's novels, however, the relationships that follow the Disney pattern usually prove unreliable. The perfect example is Sense and Sensibility's Marianne and Willoughby, who, after only a few days together, feel that they are "one soul in two bodies." Both characters "follow their hearts" instead of being guided by convention or practicality--yet their relationship turns out to be a false one. Instead, the relationship that is validated at the end of the story (by marriage, of course!) pairs Marianne with the more reserved and conventional Colonel Brandon. Although Marianne at first disregards Brandon as old and boring, she learns to feel respect and gratitude for him, and finally to appreciate that his passionate, devoted personality is married to a commitment to virtue and wisdom. By the time she accepts Brandon's offer of marriage, Marianne is deeply in love with him.

I love this about Jane Austen! Her romantic heroes, the ones who "get the girls," are as different as their partners. They may be witty and charming or proud and reserved; older, younger, poorer, richer. But without exception, they are admirable. Austen's heroines are all matched up with men with whom they are deeply, sincerely, and passionately in love. Yet their love is grounded on more than whoosh-and-gush, violin-drenched Feelings. Mr. Darcy, Edward Ferrars, Colonel Brandon, Edmund Bertram, Mr. Knightley--all of them are men whom Austen's heroines can respect and trust.

I think that's a much more realistic picture of love than the Disney model--maybe even a more Biblical picture? To return to Sense and Sensibility--Austen never portrays feelings as bad. Marianne remains Marianne, of deep "sensibility" and strong passions. Yet she finds true happiness not with Willoughby, her romantic other half, but with Brandon, who deserves her true affection and whom she can trust to protect and cherish her "sensible" love for him.

OK, this post has turned into a monster! I've read a couple of frustrating "chick lit" novels over the past week, and watching S and S with Jody set me off, I guess. What do you think?

Beans, Beans ...

2010-01-11T11:33:00.000-08:00

After a wonderful time of worship and fellowship yesterday morning, I arrived home to discover that the chicken I had planned to cook for dinner was STILL not thawed, despite spending all night in the refrigerator. So instead, I turned to one of my favorite emergency recipes, Picadillo. This recipe is kind of a tradition in my parents' family. It comes together in 30 minutes from ingredients I almost always have on hand, but with the combination of sweet and spicy (not hot), it tastes different and delicious. Plus, it is super cheap and healthy!

Although the recipe calls for serving the picadillo with cornbread (use your favorite recipe -- I like this better over a cornbread with part flour and part cornmeal), it is also good served over brown rice. I like to serve with salad, cooked greens, or fruit salad (although I didn't yesterday, because that horrible chicken FROZE MY LETTUCE, how delightful).

PICADILLO WITH CORNBREAD (4 generous servings)

1 teaspoon olive oil
1 small onion, diced
2 bell peppers, diced (I use part red, part green, and some chile pepper if I have it)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon ground red (cayenne) pepper (more or less to taste)
1/4 teaspoon ground coriander
1 (14-oz) can tomato sauce (more or less as you like; I also often add canned diced tomatoes if I have 'em)
2 cans (15-oz) red kidney beans, undrained
1/2 cup raisins (more or less to taste)

Heat oil and cook onion and peppers till soft. Add garlic and spices, and cook 30 seconds till fragrant. Stir in tomatoes, beans, and raisins. Reduce heat and simmer 20 - 30 minutes, till thickened. Serve over wedges of your favorite cornbread recipe.

One of my mom's "emergency dinners" was Breakfast for Dinner -- I can remember lots of Sunday evenings when we had bacon, eggs, and toast, or maybe pancakes. I'm not a big Breakfast for Breakfast kind of girl, let alone for dinner, so I tend to rely on recipes like Picadillo or spaghetti Amatriciana. Being a disorganised sort of person, however, I can always use more ideas -- what is your go-to meal for those crazy days when The Plan goes out the window?

Small Blessings

2010-01-09T07:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Dennis and I woke up and discovered that our water had been turned off.

Oh, the joys of living in older housing. It can be an adventure at times!

We were a little grumpy at missing morning showers, etc, but God was taking care of us. There was EXACTLY enough water left in the kitchen pipes to make four cups of coffee. EXACTLY. No more, no less.

If that's not a particular Providence, I don't know what is.

And I still need help with yesterday's question. Please leave a comment if you haven't already!

How Do You Save $ on your Grocery Bill?

2010-01-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

So in lieu of making a great big list of New Year's Resolutions that will only bite the dust in February, I'm considering making 2010 the Year of Challenges. Every month, I pick one thing to try, consistently, for a month to see if I can incorporate some changes. If it doesn't happen, OK, but I will at least commit to one solid month of trying hard.

I'm thinking next month will be Frugal February. I am still looking for another job (applied for a secretarial position at DMU -- please keep that in your prayers for the next week or so!), and while we are OK financially, this seems like a good time to exercise my creativity where our grocery bill is concerned. I am still learning how to be a good helpmeet in this area -- I'm used to buying and cooking for a hungry farm family of 10 - 12, so it's an adjustment to plan for just two!

I have already made a few changes. Specifically, I have agreed with myself that I will buy ONE 12-pack of what I am learning to call "pop" a month, and ONLY one. As opposed to my usual 1 1/2 a week. The consumption of that much carbonation, artificial sweetener, and chemical dye can't have been good for my system, AND I'm saving about $5 a week that way. Although I do miss my fizz!

DH and I spend quite a bit on good cheese, fresh fruit and vegetables, and dairy products -- we don't buy a lot of convenience items, but we do like good food. I am thinking that incorporating even more meals based on soup, lentils, beans, and beans + a little bit of meat may be a good idea. Actually, I am going to challenge myself and see if I can go all February without buying any meat except for sandwich meat for Dennis -- I bought 6 lb of pork roast on sale at Hy-Vee, have a whole chicken, a few chicken breasts, and a LOT of deer meat in the freezer (thanks to my brothers, the Mighty Hunters!) -- so we should be in good shape for that challenge.

This is where I would LOVE your input. How do you save on your grocery bill? I would love tips, links to websites, recipe suggestions ... anything and everything! And not just food -- by "grocery" I also mean things like toilet paper, aluminum foil, and cleaning supplies. I am not afraid to buy in bulk, cook new things, or try anything else you can throw at me, so fire away!

I Want Gourds and Palm Trees

2010-01-07T15:35:00.000-08:00

Another snowstorm today -- outside my window the world is white, the dingy grime of old snowdrifts blanketed by the clean new fall. The sky is so opaque, so pale, that it nearly blends into the fallen snow. It's a beautiful landscape -- all clear lines, blank and pale and very clean looking. Beautiful and bleak.

Last night, DH and I reached I Kings 6 in our reading together. Compared to the blank white in my window, the description of Solomon's temple made a vivid impression on my summer-starved mind. The author spends the whole chapter describing Solomon's construction of the temple in exuberant detail -- the measurements, the materials, and the decorations. This is an astonishing house -- the place where God physically dwells among His people. And the details of that house almost explode with hugeness of the joy of God's presence. Imagine walking into Solomon's temple -- built of costly stone, cedar, and cypress. All over the interior of the house is carved with gorgeous gourds or pomegranates, palm trees, and open flowers. Everything is overlaid with a layer of gleaming gold, and the air is thick with incense.

If we walked into a church and saw what is described in I Kings, we would be shocked at how gaudy it was. The note in my Bible suggests that the carvings in the temple evoke the Garden of Eden. I was reminded of the rich language of the Song of Songs, the garden images of blooming and ripeness and abundance. Maybe a temple like Solomon's is no longer necessary, or culturally appropriate, but the imagery of the temple still speaks to who He Is. God is with his people like a bridegroom with his bride. In His presence is fullness of joy, an overflowing delight that explodes outward as if in tendrils and green leaves and gorgeous flowers and ripe fruit, filling up the world around it, unfurling into every space.

Solomon's temple reminded me that Christianity is not about my sacrifice or my endurance, although it does include those things. Instead, it is about life and growth where everything was once dead and cold. At the heart of Christianity is an enormous, uncontainable rejoicing in my God and His love.

Trojan Holiday

2010-01-04T10:34:00.000-08:00

No, my computer didn't get attacked over Christmas. Instead, we got to spend Christmas with our families after all!

Despite my aversion to new years' resolutions, there are definitely some things I want to do differently in 2010. Specifically, more deliberately. But first, Dear Reader, a quick visit to December 2009.

Or maybe not so quick. Since concision is not my strong point, either!

As a few of you know, I quit my job at Monster Financial almost a week after my first Iowa blizzard hit. This is still a little painful for me to talk about. It's difficult for me to trust my husband that we will be OK financially until I find more work. Even more difficult is accepting my own inadequacy. Physically and mentally, I just could not handle the work any longer -- including getting-ready and commute time, I was spending from 6:00 am to around 5:30 pm on a job that was both extremely easy and emotionally draining. The prospect of getting up even earlier to handle the winter weather was the proverbial last straw.

So you can pray that God will help me to repent of feeling guilty for not being able to do more (because that is just PRIDE), and help me to humbly embrace the opportunity to do what I CAN ... whatever that is ... without worrying over what I should have been able to do, or what someone else might have been able to do. Right now I'm looking for work closer to home, maybe even something part-time. That, and sleeping A LOT!

After I quit, DH and I were super-excited to be free to visit our families for Christmas! We crammed gifts for our families into DH's tiny car along with the gifts they had already mailed us, and hit the road. During the 11 hours from Iowa to Tennessee we watched the fields outside the windows turn from white ... to dead brown ... to patchy green.

It was such a blessing to spend the holidays with our families. We spent five days at my parents' farm in Troy. Coming from a small family, I don't think DH appreciates how restful it was for me to be in the middle of ten or twelve people's constant noise and busy-ness! Christmas day we travelled to Dennis's parents home, and spent several days enjoying their company as well. I am so grateful that we were able to make the trip down to Tennessee.

Then we s l o w l y drove back from 20-degree weather to negative 20! Seriously -- negative 20 degrees Fahrenheit. I am still incredulous.

I loved our vacation, but it was wonderful to worship with our church again this week. And today was Dennis's first day back at school--yay!

That wraps up our holiday, and our news. Now it's back to the routine, or some semblance. Although I would like to say that we are having Gulasch for supper, using a recipe from an Italian cookbook Dennis's sister gave us. I substituted the deer meat my brother Nate sent back with us for beef, and threw it in the slow cooker. With all the lemon zest, spices, and cheapo Cabernet Sauvignon, it smells AMAZING.

February FAIL Syndrome

2010-01-02T13:42:00.000-08:00

I don't trust New Year's resolutions.

Whenever January rolls around I remember the harsh smell of chlorine. I can almost hear the muddled roar of yells and splashes echoing over the indoor pool where, as a teenager, I used to practice with a small swim team. Most of us complained about the workouts, the battle to finish just one more grueling butterfly set, the bathwater temperature of the pool and (for the girls, anyway) the way it made our hair take on a greenish tinge. Solemnly, Coach B. would assure us his heart was bleeding in sympathy for our pain. Then he would tell us to swim another 200 fly.

Really, though, most of us loved practice. What we really hated was the annual invasion of Resolutioners who were sure that this year, this year, they were finally going to lose twenty pounds, get six-pack abs, run a five-minute mile. We Flying Fish met at the YMCA every Tuesday, Thursday, and often Saturday to swim for two hours. Many of us cross-trained with the treadmills and weight machines, too, pushing our bodies week after week. And now, in January, suddenly we had to crowd into two tiny lanes of the pool. Getting a decent workout in the weightroom was almost impossible.

Kicking one another, waiting ten minutes for a turn in the pool, was wretched. The only reason we didn't go crazy was that we knew February was only a few weeks away. And then we would have room to breathe again; by March, everything would be back to normal. We would have all the space we wanted, we could go back to complaining about pushups and sprint sets and the other teams.

We just had to wait until February.

I didn't post Friday because I was fixing this for dinner ...

2009-12-19T07:53:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best things we've had for dinner lately. Oh man, this was good. And since I followed Ashley's technique and read a couple recipes, then basically did my own thing, I am TOTALLY taking all of the credit for it! Don't be intimidated by the loooong ingredient list -- this is one of those recipes that basically uses half the spice drawer. It's really easy to make. And of course, feel free to change ingredients or quantities to suit your taste!

CHICKPEA POTATO CURRY
Serves: 2 plus extra for seconds or leftovers (maybe 3 full servings)
Time to make: 15 minutes prep + 30 minutes simmer

2 teaspoons vegetable oil
Pinch mustard seeds
1/2 large onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic, minced
2 cloves of cloves (whole, not ground)
1/2 cinnamon stick
2 teaspoons fresh ginger, minced or grated
2 small jalapeno peppers, seeded and chopped
2 teaspoons ground coriander
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground red (cayenne) pepper
About 1 cup diced tomatoes (I used canned)
1 can chickpeas, drained
1 1/2 cups broth (I used low sodium chicken bouillon)
1 large or 2 smallish potatoes (Yukon gold or red), largeish dice

Fresh cilantro, optional

Heat oil in a nonstick pan. Cook mustard seeds until they pop. Add onion and cook 5 minutes or so. Add jalapenos, garlic, ginger, and spices; cook and stir another couple of minutes. Add tomatoes and cook another minute or so. Add chickpeas, broth, and diced potatoes. Bring to a simmer and let simmer 25 minutes uncovered, or until most of the liquid is gone.
Serve with brown rice and/or naan; garnish with fresh chopped cilantro if desired.
I also served with a frozen vegetable mix -- microwaved it with a few tablespoons of the cooking liquid from the chickpeas.

IN OTHER NEWS my husband had his LAST FINAL on Friday and is now done with his first semester of podiatry school! I am so pround of him! And also addicted to exclamation points, apparently!!! We are both looking forward to visitng our families for Christmas next week. And I am gleefully gloating over my successful Christmas shopping.

I may not post at all next week, since my parents have a horrible Internet connection (although my Mom seems to manage beautifully). If not, I wish everyone a very happy Christmas.

The Bread Blog

2009-12-14T14:46:00.000-08:00

Complete with pictures, mostly courtesy of my Dear Husband :)

Neither DH nor I are a big fan of what we call "gummi bread" (the cheap sandwich bread you buy at the store). However, we wince a little at the thought of paying $3 or more for a loaf of the good stuff. Ergo, I make bread most weeks. The process is a little involved, but after the first loaf or two it really isn't difficult. My usual recipe is a very simple bread -- using whole wheat and rye flour give it more nutritional value and flavour, and baking it at home gives it an amazing crust. You can whip it up in a heavy-duty stand mixer if you have one, but there is something deeply satisfying about thumping into a fragrant, elastic mass of dough.

Start the bread the day before you plan to bake it. Mix up the sponge (kind of a cheater's sourdough starter) and let it sit overnight. The next day, expect to spend about 4 to 5 hours shaping, rising, and baking the bread.

HEARTY COUNTRY BREAD

DAY ONE: SPONGE

This is the easy part!

1/2 teaspoon dry yeast

1 cup warm (not hot) water

1 cup bread flour

1 cup whole-wheat flour

In a really big mixing bowl, stir yeast and water to dissolve. Stir in flour. Cover with plastic wrap or a lid and let sit at room temperature at least 5 hours—I find it is easiest to mix in the evening and let rise overnight.

In the morning, it will smell AMAZING and yeasty and look sort of bubbly like this:

DAY TWO: DOUGH

3 cups bread flour

½ cup rye flour

1 1/3 cups warm water

2 tablespoons honey or molasses

2 teaspoons salt

Dump all ingredients in on top of the sponge from last night. (NOTE: I usually dissolve the salt and honey or molasses IN the water, as shown above, so that it mixes more evenly. My bread flour canister contains bread flour, not poison. And there is no hot sauce in this recipe!)

Mix well -- it will be pretty stiff. I mix it in with my hands and then go straight to kneading the dough, right in the bowl, to make cleanup easier. Knead for 10 minutes or so till elastic—you may knead in ½ cup or more of additional bread flour. The dough should hold its shape like this:

Let rise at least two hours, till tripled in size, like this:

When dough has risen, spray a baking sheet. Form the dough into a sort of oblong football shape: gently spread it out, bring the "sides" in to the middle and pinch, then turn over so the seam is on bottom (try not to deflate it too much—handle gently) on the sheet. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise till almost doubled in size, 45 minutes to 1 ½ hour:

Meanwhile, move oven racks so that one rack is in the lower middle position and the other rack is below it. On the lowest rack, place an old baking dish or something (to hold water). Have some water heating on the stove or in the microwave. AND TURN THE OVEN ON TO 450deg F!

When bread is risen, slide the baking sheet with the bread onto the upper oven rack. QUICKLY and CAREFULLY pour about 2 cups hot water into the old tray underneath it and close the oven door. All that exciting steam helps the bread develop that fantastic crust.

Bake 35 to 40 minutes. Crust should be quite dark. Turn the oven off, open the door, and let sit for 10 minutes. Remove bread and let cool at room temperature before slicing (if you don’t wait at least an hour it will be gummy).

YUM.

A few more notes:

This recipe is from this amazing cookbook. You should buy it! You can play around with the proportions of wheat, white, and rye flours, as long as you keep the total amount of flour the same. If you aren't familiar with rye flour, it gives the bread a wonderful, deep sort of flavour, AND it is PURPLE! Well, okay, really more of a lavender-grey. But still. Try it if you can find it. DO use bread flour instead of all-purpose flour. It is not too hard to find and really improves the texture of the finished bread.

Just a Link Today

2009-12-02T17:12:00.000-08:00

because I am tired.

"Ars Poetica (cocoons)," by Dana Levin.

Comfort Food

2009-11-24T18:24:00.000-08:00

I am so tired. I am so, so tired. I am so tired I do not even have energy to manufacture even the tiniest fit of Drama Drama to add a bit of black fizz to the mundanity. It is File Audit week at work, otherwise known as Eff All You, We Are Spending The Whole Day Reciting Rows And Rows Of Tiny Little Numbers And We Do Not Have The Mental Energy To Handle Your Urgent File Requests Or Loan Deadlines Week. I have about as much energy as the soggy dead worms that I did not avoid stepping on this morning.

So I am going to be lazy and give you a recipe. A slow cooker recipe no less. I used a recipe from a neat cookbook I found at the library ... sort of ... except that I pretty much changed everything in the recipe except the title. Eg, the original receipt calls for making meatballs out of ground lamb. Which would probably be delicious, but ground lamb is not really happening in our kitchen! But what I fixed was good, so I'll give you that.

SLOW COOKER MOROCCAN STEW
Serves: 2 (very hungry people)

Somewhat more than 1/2 lb pork roast or stew meat, cut in nice big chunks
1/2 small onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced
To taste: ground coriander, cumin, red pepper, nutmeg, cinnamon, and black pepper
1 cup canned diced tomatoes, with liquid
Small handful dried apricots, chopped
Small handful raisins

If desired, brown meat, onion, garlic, and spices in a skillet in some oil. Whether you brown it or not, dump all the ingredients in the slow cooker and cook on LOW all day (or 7 to 9 hours) till tender. Serve with couscous.

This would probably be very delicious if you made meatballs (I would put some of the seasoning in the meatballs, and some breadcrumbs and maybe an egg) and browned them, and then added the tomatoes and fruit. Bell pepper would probably also be good if you had it to hand. The original recipe called for dried currants as well as for apricots and raisins but there I am only willing to buy so much dried fruit.

You Have To Be Pretty Darn Self Absorbed...

2009-11-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

... to write a blog post this long all about ONESELF.

I am. I am, I am. Sorry.

It is hard to believe that DH and I have been married for nearly 5 months. In a way, it surprises me how short a time we have had together ... living together is much less of an adjustment than I was expecting.

Not that it isn't still fraught with all kinds of drama.

I am the kind of person who likes to live life on the edge. As in, I borrow about 10 books a week from the library AND I read them. ALL of them. WOW. This week I was thrilled to discover some ancient cassette tapes featuring performances of Hamlet and Macbeth by old-timey actors such as John Gielgud and Alec Guinness. You know, the actors who still have that resonant, moist, radio quality to their voices (listening to which is the audial equivalent of biting into a rich, booze- and fruit-laden holiday cake), with truly astounding precision of diction. This was truly a find, because my car (which was born in the same year I was) plays cassette tapes.

So I really enjoyed listening to something truly absorbing on the way to work, as opposed to NPR's discussion of Oprah's latest big news, or the type of news stories discussed on the Godless Rock Stations, which are a sure way to erode the moral sensibility.

Then, inevitably, disaster struck. Wednesday morning I was late getting out the door, due to my distressing lack of professional attire. Dennis had already left for school--with his cellphone responsibly turned off, of course, because DH is nothing if not responsible. And of course my car would not start, because of course I had arrived home right in the middle of a soliloquy and had to stay in the car, turned on so that I could enjoy the heater, until the end of it, so that I had completely neglected to turn my lights off afterward, despite the index card taped to the inside of my windshield that says in large block letters TURN YOUR LIGHTS OFF, YOU IDIOT (except that DH crossed out the "idiot" part).

So I had to call and tell my boss that I wouldn't make it in to work. And then I had to call and cancel the doctor's appointment I had scheduled for that afternoon. And then I had to cry for three hours, because I am self-absorbed enough to really be upset by my explosion of incompetence. I still have this arrogant need to, if I can't be brilliant in a creative way, at least handle mundanity competently.

I should explain at this point that, since moving to Iowa the last week of July, I have left my lights on (and run down my car battery) four times, and locked my keys in the car once. That's just car-related incompetence, not general incompetence, which happens on a daily, if not hourly basis.

So I was basically a mess by the time Dennis got home. I told him what happened, and he did that thing where he stops and thinks how he wants to react to a situation. So he decided to treat it as not a big deal at all (which I guess it wasn't, put into perspective, which I don't have). Which really did a lot to defuse my heaped-up store of agony untold, and help me to face the evening with an acceptable amount of sanity.

Sometimes this makes me mad that Dennis is so capable and so deliberate in his responses. Because, you know, I could use some of that! I have the emotional maturity of a six-year-old. My life is a constant string of NOW. And sometimes, NOW is great. But more often (because I am imperfect and wicked, and so is the world) NOW is not so great. And if NOW is all I can see, then, by golly ... it is not a pretty sight. I spend probably about 75% of my waking life either furtively walking around the edges of depression, hoping to stay peripheral, or CAUGHT IN THE PIERCING FANGS OF CRUEL DESPAIR, O Agony!

Anyway, the point of this whole story is to say how very, very much I respect my husband. He is one of the most thoughtful, deliberate people I know. He prays almsot every day that he would be Christlike in the way he loves his wife (me!), and that, my dears, is HUGE. (It makes me cry a lot, but then I cry ... a lot.) And it makes me really want to be more deliberate in the way I relate to him as well--less time reacting out of emotion and more time relating out of truth. I'll let you know how that goes. If nothing else, well, I can definitely see how God is using me to grow Dennis (my gosh, I HATE that).

I am just amazed by the grace and wisdom God has given my husband. He is so good -- Dennis is not exactly what I would have described as the ideal husband for myself a few years ago, but I cannot imagine a person who would be better suited for relating to me individually. I guess God knows what He is doing!

Think About It

2009-11-17T17:02:00.000-08:00

Jesus said:

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it."

Matthew 13:44-46

A Visit From My Girls

2009-11-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

Updates did not happen this weekend because I was enjoying a super-special visit from my girls! Mom and my sisters graciously made the 11-hour drive from Tennessee to Des Moines in order to spend a long weekend with me.

Well, almost. They broke down in Bloomfield, IA, and my Super Amazing Husband brought them the rest of the way. On the way there he got a frantic phone call from his Fluffy Witted Wife, who had locked her keys in her car at work. There was much drama, but eventually we were all safely home and enjoying my first attempt at split pea soup (with, of course, lots of hot sauce for yours truly).

We had such a wonderful weekend. I am so grateful for the opportunity to see them! We talked, we laughed, we cried (or at least I did -- everyone needs a hobby, right?), we consumed WAY too much sugar. I think half of the Christmas goodies that I sent with them "to share with the boys" probably disappeared before they made it home!

Seriously, though, my sisters are a delight and such good company. And my mom was full of godly encouragement to love my husband and to believe the Bible.

Dennis spent most of the weekend studying (or maybe he was afraid of all the silliness fizzing around) but he did manage to get in on some of the fun! He read us some of the awesome book that he is in the middle of (more on that later).

For those of you who didn't get to meet "my girls," Martha took lots of pictures this weekend. So my blog is going high-tech with pictures!

My sister Helen, who is 9, is learning the piano. She played some nice things on Dennis's little keyboard, but mostly she had fun with the obnoxious sound effects!

Me and Helen. Thanks for the shirts, Jenny and Kevin!

I am SO EXCITING that I took my family to the LIBRARY on our visit. WOW! This is Martha (15) enjoying a book on horse biology that she found.

This picture is from my wedding, but I wanted everyone to see how pretty my sisters are

and also my mom :)

Church Cookbook, Part II

2009-11-04T17:17:00.000-08:00

So I had another Drama Drama weekend (been having a lot of those lately) and did not update Tuesday. Instead you get another Wednesday Recipe.

CHURCH COOKBOOK TREASURES:

CREAMED TUNA

6 T. butter, melted

6 T. flour

1 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

2 c. milk

1 can tuna

Into melted butter, blend flour, salt, and pepper. Cook over low heat until smooth and bubbly. Remove from heat, and stir in milk; stir until thickened. Add tuna and serve over biscuits.

This recipe is actually from my Grammy. She still makes it occasionally. We had this a lot in my parents' house growing up because it is super super cheap. It is actually not too terrible a dish, just not good. It is one of the strangest meals I have ever eaten--probably because it is very bland and very tuna-y at the same time. If you should desire to recreate this dish at home, DO NOT put as much salt in as the recipe directs. You may also have better results if you stir the milk into the flour paste over low heat until it thickens. My mom served this over rice instead of biscuits.

In other news, I am reading Michael Horton's Putting Amazing Back into Grace. It has been on my to-read list for over a year, so I am stealing my husband's copy to read during my lunch break at work. If you haven't read it, I highly, highly recommend it. It is a great, thoughtful introduction to the basics of Reformed theology -- what they are, and why they even matter -- and it is just full of the Gospel.

I am also super excited because my girls (Mom and two younger sisters) are coming for a visit this weekend! I even took a day off work to enjoy them for longer!

John Bunyan

2009-10-31T06:40:00.000-07:00

Here is the article I was working on last week. It is my first published nonfiction outside of school work, and part of a series on Reformers and other significant figures in Christian history written by members of Grace Community Church, which I used to attend in Union City. I have to say, it is REALLY HARD to write an article that is only 600 words and still say everything you want to. But researching the life and works of John Bunyan in order to write this article was tremendously encouraging to me. You may have read his classic allegory of Christian life, A Pilgrim's Progress -- if not, READ IT. It is one of a handful of books that has actually never gone out of print. I also encourage you to read his spiritual autobiography, Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, as soon as you can. It is a quick read despite the older language. This website actually has the complete works of Bunyan available to read online for free. Awesome!

Public Service Announcement

2009-10-29T20:01:00.000-07:00

Friday's post will be late! Not because i am feeling sorry for myself, but because we are having friends over for dinner! Sometime Friday evening or Saturday i hope to post a link to the articlette i was working on last week.

Another Apple Cake

2009-10-28T17:53:00.000-07:00

I do not post on days that i am feeling sorry for myself. I take care of that well enough without needing to invite the rest of the world to help me out.

So, here is a recipe for you! A really sweet coworker brought this apple cake to work Tuesday and it is SUPER YUMMY. It was a great day for it too because I had another Wardrobe FAIL and didn't have time for breakfast. I am going to make this for the Reformation Party Saturday (along with my awesome costume!!). Mrs. C--- served the cake with caramel sauce but I am just going to get some cool whip, because the cake itself is moist and rich and doesn't need a lot of pointless sweet. She also used Splenda brown sugar mix in the cake, which I would totally do if I had the money, but I don't.

I have cut the recipe in half for an 8-inch pan. Double it to make a 9 by 13 pan.

APPLE CAKE

Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8" baking dish.

Whisk together:
1 cup sugar
1 cup flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon

In a separate bowl, beat together:
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups fine-chopped apple
1/4 cup cooking oil

Combine two mixtures and beat just till well mixed. Pour into greased dish.
Sprinkle batter with 1/4 cup packed brown sugar mixed with 1 1/2 teaspoons Tones Cinnamon Maple Sprinkle (Mrs C--- got the recipe when she worked at the Tones Spice Factory, which is not far from where I live!). Bake for 1 hour.

Optional: Sprinkle with halved or chopped walnuts before baking.
Serve with whipped cream or Cool Whip, or Caramel Sauce if you have to.

This is one recipe that probably would NOT be improved with the addition of half a cup of hot sauce.

Why Our New Church is Awesome

2009-10-22T19:21:00.000-07:00

Actually, I have been extremely blessed when it comes to churches. Redeemer, Grace, FPC, Unity, Hickory Grove ... so many beautiful people!

And this post is for Jenny :D

More Gratitude

2009-10-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

So it hasn't exactly been the best couple of weeks for me. I think it has as much to do with the cold dark early as anything, but I have been WAY too focused on what I can't do, can't have, etc. Which really stinks. Made worse by the fact that I love to indulge myself by sulking.

So I want to share two ways that God encouraged me this week. We were listening to the sermon (which was great, as usual), and the passage closed with the verse where Christ tells his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest tosend out laborers into his harvest" (Matthew 9:37-38). I think this was really God speaking right to me. Among the many don't-do's and can't-do's that oppress me has sprung up the conviction that I am too shy in sharing my faith -- particularly with people whom I know are not Christians. I'm pretty sure that most of my guilt trips are straight from the devil, but I believe that I really and truly do need to be more proactive in speaking about Jesus. What I'm not sure is how to do that. I don't want to walk around banging people over the head with the Gospel, but at the same time, I have been waiting for YEARS, without success, for pagans to walk up to me and say, "Hey, tell me all about this Saviour of yours and why he's so great!" The answer to my dilemma was, of course, freakishly obvious. PRAY ABOUT IT. So that's what I'm doing -- praying for opportunities -- conversations or whatever -- and courage and wisdom to share what I believe most deeply -- and that God would make those glaringly obvious because of my dingbat tendencies. That's one request I know He will bless!

After the sermon, Pastor Larson asked, in the closing prayer, that God would help all of us to be faithful in the work before us, remembering that we are ultimately working for Him, and for His purposes, even in the little things. I wasn't really encouraged by that, because I have been kind of discouraged at work lately and I didn't want anyone telling me to suck it up and do my job. Not even God! I have loved brilliance and hated the hard work that goes into it. Sometimes I feel like I am filing paperwork when I should be learning to write the Great American Novel, or something. I am SO grateful for my job, but it can be frustrating in that it is both very simple and repetitive, and yet so high volume that I often feel inadequate. I KNOW that my "real job" is helping my family, and that God has a reason for the tasks and relationships He's given me at work, but dammit, I want to paint a masterpiece, not sit here drawing circles and circles and circles.

And then I started having stories again, and poems. The kind that buzz in your brain and in your fingers until you get out of bed at midnight to write them. I'm not unselfish enough yet to joyously offer writing as a sacrifice. And right now it seems like God is telling me I don't have to either-or, I can both. It is a small and a deep, deep gift. I'm nowhere near the Great Novel or anything, but writing, I don't worry anymore about What I Should Be Doing.

So maybe it hasn't been the best couple of weeks, but I have a lot to be thankful for.

And God isn't just good to ME, either. My Dear Husband is FINISHED with Biochem! On to the next class, but that is a great one to have out of the way. I am super proud and happy for him.

Three Things

2009-10-18T14:06:00.000-07:00

1. He loves me

2. He love me

3. He loves me

And if you don't know what I'm talking about, read this book. No, seriously. Go read it.

Southern Girl Bread

2009-10-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

I am a Southern girl. I have many failings, but I say "Yes, ma'am" and I know how to make biscuits and cornbread. I am branching out now and trying exciting things with yeast sponges and rye flour, but these two quick breads are still made frequently in the Pritzel household. Both take about 30 minutes from start to finish. Hot, fluffy biscuits go with ANY meal, and golden cornbread is the perfect accompaniment to soup or chili.

The biscuits are from a Jeff Smith cookbook and are so delicious that my mom actually abandoned her mama's recipe for this one. The trick with biscuits is to use buttermilk and a light hand; if you mess around with the dough too much, it will be tough instead of tender. I think it's the acid in the buttermilk that helps make the biscuits so soft and delicious, because they aren't as good with plain milk. In a pinch, use plain yogurt (whole or lowfat, not fat free). You can even use milk that has gone a bit sour (scary!).

The cornbread recipe, on the other hand, is from my great-grandmother. It is true Southern cornbread, not a bit sweet and (if you use cast iron, like you're supposed to!) has a great crackly crust. It will make men fall in love with you ;)

BISCUITS
Small batch: serves 4-ish

1 cup + 1 tablespoon all purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon soda
1/4 cup shortening or cold butter
1/2 cup buttermilk

Heat oven to 500 degrees F. (YES, THAT HOT). If you are making super amazing deluxe Southern biscuits, grease a cast iron skillet LIBERALLY with Crisco and set it in the oven to heat. Otherwise, just grease a cookie sheet.

Combine dry ingredients (sifting the flour isn't really necessary, GASP). Cut in the cold butter (use a pastry blender, or just a couple knives) till it is cut up evenly in the flour--it should look pebbly, like coarse crumbs. Pour in the buttermilk and mix JUST TILL COMBINED with a fork. DO NOT overmix. The dough will be pretty darn sticky.

Turn the mess out onto a generously floured surface. If you must, knead it only a couple of times, then pat the dough out gently till it is about 3/4 inch thick. Cut out with a biscuit cutter (I use a tomato paste can with both ends cut off--another family tradition).

If you heated a cast iron skillet, plop those biscuits into the hot fat, let them sizzle for a second, and then turn them in the pan. They will puff and start to get golden. Place the biscuits close to one another, with their sides touching, so that they will rise higher. Bake them for 12 to 15 minutes or until golden and as done as you like. These are best served HOT with plenty of butter and honey or (to be truly Southern) sorghum.

CORNBREAD
Serves about 4; enough for one small cast iron skillet. Double for a large (10 or 12 inch) skillet.

1 cup yellow cornmeal
1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 egg
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (I'm not Southern enough to save bacon grease, but if you are, use that)

Heat oven to 500 degrees. LIBERALLY grease a cast iron skillet with Crisco. It is almost impossible to use too much Crisco. Set the skillet in the oven to heat up.

Whisk together the cornmeal, baking powder, and salt. In a separate bowl, mix the buttermilk, egg, oil, and soda. Stir the two together to make a very wet batter. Carefully pour into the hot skillet and bake for at least 15 minutes, till a knife stuck in the centre comes out clean. NOTHING is better with soup or with beans 'n' greens than this.

I suppose you could make the cornbread in a plain old baking dish sprayed with cooking spray, but what would be the point??

COLD COLD COLD

2009-10-13T17:10:00.001-07:00

Regrettable Food Blog

2009-10-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

I said you'd get a bonus weekend post. I didn't say it'd be a good one. I give you ...

CHURCH COOKBOOK TREASURES, PART 1:

CABBAGE CASSEROLE

1 can cream soup

1/4 cup milk

1/2 lb Velveeta cheese

cabbage

Dice cabbage, boil for 10 minutes and drain all water off. Add soup, milk, and cheese. Bake at 350 till bubbly.

I swear, this is for true. I own the cookbook. The contributor's name has been omitted for her protection.

It would be really funny to actually make this stuff, and post pictures. But I just can't bring myself to get that close to Velveeta cheese.

In other news, I made BBQ sauce for our dinner today and it was totally awesome. Super spicy and not too sweet.

The Friday Update

2009-10-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering where Tuesday's update went to, just scroll down for your by-now-usual Apology By Recipe, in the form of a slow cooker lentil stew recipe. We like lentils around here because they are cheap, healthy, and delicious. And anything with curry powder and lots of spices keeps me happy! If lentils are not your thing ... stay tuned for a FREE EXTRA RECIPE Saturday or Sunday! Yes people, I am that nice!

I have to share what a great experience it was to teach the girls' Sunday School class this week. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do that. The beautiful, vibrant woman who usually teaches the girls has been working through the Creation story. It just so happened that my lesson was the story of the Fall -- a familiar story, but a hard one to teach. The curriculum made a point not just to retell the story, but also to try and emphasize the real, spiritual and physical impact of the Fall. And talking with the girls -- well, it doesn't take much life experience to realise that Stuff Is Not Right. The tricky part is living in a world where so much is bent or shattered, without losing hope. I loved that our lesson really emphasised that creation is still good -- it still reflects God's glory and image, even if that picture is distorted; that there is redemption NOW in Christ; and finally, that creation will be restored. There will be a new Heaven and a new Earth -- all of creation will be able to fulfill its end without being messed up by the effects of sin.

Those are huge ideas, and I hope God used me to communicate them to the girls last week. I know that he was using the lesson to remind me of those truths, as well. My tendency is to live life in an eternal Now -- as a kaleidoscopy of discrete moments and experiences rather than as a progression or a development. In such a mindset, beauty is glorious -- and unbeauty is utterly devastating. Life becomes a matter of survival rather than of progress.

But God says that my life had a beginning, and that it is moving toward an End. Both are in Him, and it is when I am looking outside of my moments to the One who contains them that I am able to move, slowly and painfully and with great joy, closer to Him.

The amount of underlining and scribbling on Hebrews 12 in my Bible shows exactly how difficult it is for me to do this!

Spicy Lentil Stew

2009-10-09T18:47:00.000-07:00

DH thought this tasted like lentil chili. I prepped the veges last night, then popped them in the slow cooker with everything else this morning and let it cook all day. Add some cornbread and YUM -- the perfect dinner for a chilly Friday. The recipe is a hodgepodge of several I found online, so I am totally taking the credit for it.

You could definitely make this on the stovetop. For a vegetarian version, just use vegetable broth, or water, or white wine instead of the chicken broth.

SPICY LENTIL STEW
Prep Time: 15 minutes, plus 8 hours to cook
Serves: 4

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
1 large carrot, chopped
1 teaspoon crushed red pepper
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper or chili powder

1 large red or golden potato, cut in large chunks
1 cup dry lentils (I used the brown kind that are easiest to find)

1 cup chicken broth
1 cup canned crushed tomatoes
1 - 2 cups water

Directions:
Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the carrots, onions, crushed red pepper, and salt and black pepper to taste. Cook for 5 minutes or so until soft. Stir in the garlic and spices for 30 seconds until fragrant.
Dump everything into the slow cooker and cook on "low" all day long. It will end up thick and spicy and delicious.

NOTE: This is, indeed, quite hot. If that intimidates you, just omit the red pepper or some of the cayenne. Or if you are like me, you may like to add half a teaspoon of Tabasco to your bowl. Either way is delicious :)

A Happy Saturday Blog is Better than a Glum Friday Blog.

2009-10-03T17:04:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I should give up even intending to post on Fridays.

Anyway, I had a really fun day because DH took me SHOPPING for CLOTHES. I love shopping! It was the perfect day for us; fall fell on us last week, and this morning the air was bright, crisp, and shiny without being too terribly cold. After another Test Week, it was so much fun to spend a big stretch of time with Dennis, just enjoying looking at things. He was very patient while I tried on about sixteen thousand pairs of jeans and work pants, at several different stores.

I very nearly had a Bad Day instead of a really fun one. It is NO FUN to try on pants that don't fit. And since I am quite small, have no hips at all, and yet still have too much of me in the leg area to fit into girls' or boys' sizes, A LOT of pants don't fit me.

I was getting pretty glum, but with the grace of God and the help of a very attentive sales associate at Maurices, I was finally able to find a glorious, glorious pair of jeans. I cannot remember the last time that I bought a pair of jeans that really fit well and looked nice.

I also can't remember the last time I paid $30.00 for a pair of jeans! And I am so happy about these jeans, I am going to buy another pair JUST LIKE THEM next week (so I can use the coupon I got today).

Now all I have to find is a pair of work pants. They don't make a lot of professional-looking clothes for people my size, at least not anywhere I know to look.

DH got some tennis shoes, and we bought a bread box (we've been using my biggest mixing bowl!), some pretty glass coffee cups (he likes cappuccinos and Irish coffee and fun stuff like that), and a cookie spatula (which was strangely elusive for a long time ... )

Anyway, we have done our part to stimulate the local economy. In other news, I am excited to substitute teach Sunday School tomorrow, I discovered the delights of roasting butternut squash, and I read a super amazing book called The Name of the Rose, which is apparently about a series of murders in a medieval abbey, but really is about Knowledge and Truth and Language and English-majory stuff like that.

Tuesday Tidbits

2009-09-29T18:17:00.000-07:00

With no terribly deep insights to share at the moment, I thought I would take a leaf from my friend Ashley's shiny blog and post a few bite-size news and musings.

There is now a life-size plastic model of the human skull sitting in my living room. It has a ghastly grin. I am SO going to review my Hamlet and deliver an (overdone, of course) graveyard speech. Being an English major leads to FUN TIMES, my friends.

Speaking of Fun With English Majors, one of my very favourite English professors linked to this YouTube video on Facebook (insert ironic joke about technology here). DH thought it was pretty stupid. I was laughing so hard I almost couldn't breathe. I don't know if that's because I'm an English major, or because I have a stupid sense of humour.

My big news is that DH and I publicly became members of our church last Sunday! We are so excited about becoming part of a body of believers that we can already tell is loving, passionate about doctrine, and serious about working out their faith. God has already blessed us so much in our short time at Redeemer PCA.

DH successfully completed his first big Anatomy exam (ugh, don't even ask), for which we are both grateful! Now he is hitting the books to prepare for the next Biochem exam. I am so proud of his dedication. Please keep him in your prayers, since the schedule can be wearing. I am looking forward to the shopping trip we have planned for when he finishes the next round of tests!

If you missed Friday's post (I regret to admit, I was rather wallowing), guess what! You get a recipe for FREE! Just scroll down for Lo Mein that is super tasty and easy to make.

One more food idea--it isn't really complicated enough to count as a recipe; I got the idea from Hungry Girl: for a sweet, fluffy frozen treat, mix about 1/4 cup whipped topping (I use light dairy-free) with a 6oz container of yogurt. If you use light both, you get a creamy delicious treat that is really low calorie. Super awesome!

BELATED LO MEIN

2009-09-28T17:41:00.000-07:00

Alas, I did not post on Friday. I was depressed. Downcast. Despairing. Such is the life of Emily. DH and I had a marvellous, refreshing weekend and I am happy until the next morose episode.

As an apology, you get another Recipe. DH and I had this for dinner tonight and last week, too (anyone want to share what ELSE you can make with Napa cabbage?). YUM. The recipe is from The America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook (the "Best Recipe") people. While I'm on it, I would definitely recommend this as one of the best basic, all-purpose, household recipe books you can buy. There is GOOD FOOD in here, all of the basics and more exotic flavours as well. NOT ONE recipe calls for tinned cream soup, yet the ingredients are easily found even at the supermarket in Union City, TN. A decently experienced cook will have no trouble with the recipes. The only thing I don't like about this cookbook is that the ring binding is a funny shape that makes it hard to turn the pages. SO WORTH IT.

Without further ado, I give you

LO MEIN
Prep Time: less than 20 minutes, plus time to heat water for noodles
Serves: 4 (side dish)

Ingredients:
8 oz spaghetti or thin spaghetti
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1/2 cup low-sodium chicken broth (or veg broth)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
3 tablespoons oyster sauce
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (or less, if you use cooking spray)
1/2 small onion, minced

6-8 oz mushrooms, washed and sliced
1 small head Napa cabbage, sliced crossways 1/4 inch thick
1 bell pepper (red, green, or yellow), seeded and sliced thin
1 tablespoon minced ginger
2 cloves garlic, minced

Directions:

Boil water and cook the spaghetti till tender (NOT al dente). Drain, and toss with the sesame oil.

In a small bowl or measuring cup, mix broth, soy sauce, and oyster sauce.

Heat oil in a large skillet over high heat, till shimmering. Add the mushrooms onions and cook till browned and softened. Stir in cabbage and bell pepper; cook 2 or 3 minutes to wilt. Stir in ginger and garlic and cook 30 seconds more. It will smell AMAZING.

Dump all this back into the empty noodle pot, with the noodles. Toss and heat till the noodles are warm. THEN EAT IT. SO DELICIOUS.

Recipe Notes:
You can find oyster sauce and sesame oil in the international aisle -- usuallly right next to the soy sauce. If you are really lucky, maybe your market will have fresh Chinese egg noodles, which you can use instead (12 oz, cooked for just 2 minutes, drained, and rinsed, then tossed with the oil). Oyster sauce smells nasty, but it really makes the sauce delicious, so go ahead and dump it in there!

You will have gingerroot left over. I like to chop it into inch-long chunks and freeze it. It is actually really easy to mince frozen ginger.

If you are a vegecarboholic like I am this stuff is great by itself, but if you need protein, pork or dark meat chicken are yummy along with.

Help me, please!

2009-09-22T18:22:00.000-07:00

I am a housekeeping disaster, people.

Two months ago, my bathroom was spotless, my floors got mopped at least once a week, the blinds were dusted. Even the eyes on the range top were shiny and clean!

One full-time job later, I am about at my limit. I didn't even mop the floors this weekend, and I haven't dusted our bedroom in ... well, I'll just say that it's been a lot longer than a week. Aside from being bothered by the mess, perfectionist that I am, I am really bothered by what I perceive as laziness and incompetence. I don't have a LOT of time to keep things clean -- work, plus working out on the way back, keeps me busy until 6:30 most nights, and once I get dinner served and dishes cleaned up it is usually after 8pm -- but I could probably do a lot better if I would just devote a good 30 minutes each evening cleaning SOMETHING.

But I don't want to be a grownup! After dinner and cleanup, I just have a couple hours to unwind, and I want to spend them on FUN by golly!

Perfectionism and laziness are a DANGEROUS combination, people. If you have any advice, I would LOVE to hear it!

Observations in Iowa

2009-09-18T16:20:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a couple months, and so far I LOVE Iowa. Oddly enough, it reminds me somewhat of home -- a very agricultural area. Des Moines is great because it has capital city amenities -- nice restaurants, cultural activities, international food ingredients available (!) -- but is still pretty small for a city. There are lots of farms around and many people seem to hold to more conservative, agricultural community values.

With that said, I thought I'd share a few things about Iowa (or Des Moines, really) that have stuck out to me as DIFFERENT.

1. POP. Not "coke," "pop." I thought it was kind of a joke that people farther North called all soda "pop," but they REALLY DO. Nobody says "coke" unless they mean brand-name Coca-Cola. I asked a store associate where I could find the store brand Coke last week. He gave me a really funny look and told me, "All of our pop is over there." I don't know why I find this so funny.

2. HY-VEE. Speaking of stores, I love this one. It is a lot like Iowa's brand of Kroger, and the stores are EVERYWHERE here. Tends to be a bit more expensive than Wal-Mart, but they usually have really good sales going each week. AND the one close to our house comes complete with a Helpful Produce Guy.

3. ALCOHOL. This sounds kinda bad, but coming from a dry county, it is REALLY COOL to be able to go to Wal-Mart, Hy-Vee, or Target and choose from at least a whole aisle each for wine, beer, and more serious alcohol.

4. TATTOOS. Since we're talking about Wal-Mart ;) Seriously, there are a lot of tattoos here. I didn't really notice till Mom came to visit and remarked on it. And she's right. I'd say I see a good four times as much tattooed flesh here as "back home." And I was listening to a Godless Rock Station on the way to work and apparently there is an Iowa Tattoo Festival coming up.

5. SKINNY PEOPLE. Not everybody is skinny, of course, but there are a lot MORE people walking around who are NOT significantly overweight. I guess what they say about the South is true.

6. CORN. Yep, corn. I shouldn't be surprised that fresh corn tastes SO much better here.

I have a couple more, but DH tells me that our salmon is done, so I will close, with love to my readers!

CHOCOLATE

2009-09-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am late posting, so I'm giving you chocolate in an attempt to buy your forgiveness. Also because my Mom asked for the recipe for Truffles. OH WOW these are good. And super easy to make, too! One of my speeches in my college Public Speaking Class was on making truffles. I thought I was going to pass out giving the speech. So, don't look for me on the Food Network!

CHOCOLATE TRUFFLES

Ingredients:
1 lb good quality chocolate
1 cup heavy cream
2 - 3 tablespoons Kahlua, Grand Marnier, or liqueur of your choice
Cocoa powder

Directions:
Chop 1 lb chocolate into little tiny bits. Use dark chocolate, milk chocolate, or a combination -- whatever suits you! Do go ahead and spring for the really good stuff, though. No Nestle or Hershey's allowed. Resist the temptation to sample too much of the chocolate, though. Alternatively, just go ahead and buy 2lb of chocolate and plan to eat half while you are baking!

Meanwhile, bring 1 cup heavy cream to a simmer in a heavy-bottomed saucepan. Don't boil it!

When the cream is hot, pour it over the chopped chocolate (hopefully you have put the chocolate into a heat-proof bowl of some sort). Pour in 2 to 3 tablespoons flavouring of your choice. Liqueurs like Kahlua and Grand Marnier are great, or you can be boring and use vanilla extract or something like that. Let it all sit without stirring for a couple minutes, so the chocolate goes all melty. Then whisk the mixture until it is smooth. If you chopped your chocolate too coarse, or if your cream cools too fast, you may end up with lumps of chocolate that don't melt. That's ok -- just dump it all into the heavy saucepan (or a double boiler, if you have one) and heat GENTLY just until the chocolate melts smoothly.

Chill this fabulous, gooey stuff (or, if you are French, ganache) until it is thick enough that you can scoop it. At this point you are ready to shape your truffles!

For BASIC TRUFFLES, have ready some cocoa powder. I also like to put the finished truffles in paper mini muffin cups -- they are cute and help cut down on mess. Alternatively, a cookie sheet lined with waxed paper works.

To shape the truffles, scoop the ganache (or, in English, yummy chocolate cream) with a spoon and shape into round, truffly shapes. Roll these in PLENTY of cocoa powder, to reduce melting onto fingers, and plop into the lovely little muffin cups.

If you want to get fancy, you can also dip the truffles into melted chocolate (this is called enrobing, and it works better if you chill the shaped ganache until it is quite hard). Then you can get creative with white chocolate zigzags, crushed peppermint, nuts, or whatever crazy delicious topping you can think of.

Store the finished truffles in the refrigerator (although you may want to let them sit our 10 or 15 minutes before you plan to eat them. If you can wait that long!).

And remember ... IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE, GIVE THEM CHOCOLATE.

Knock, Knock ...

2009-09-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

When I first started blogging, I promised to update twice a week ... even if I just posted knock knock jokes. It's been a full week, a good week, a LONG week (despite being a short week!), and it's a good night for something quick and funny.

Unfortunately, I have since realised that there ARE no funny knock knock jokes. Apparently once you reach the age of 8 or so all the funny evaporates out of them. Do not despair, however, dear reader. En lieu of the knock knocks, I will share one of my fallback funnies:

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1104

Dinosaur Comics often makes me smile but this is an all time favourite, and about as intellectual as I think I can manage today! I lurched out of bed at 6:15 this morning and managed to fumble my way out of bed and into the workplace, but my brain never really got the memo that it was daytime. Instead of reading Dickens or something equally pretentious during my lunch break today, I read the September issue of Allure. (My favourite shades of nail polish are "in" this season! Also, I need some over-the-knee, triple-buckle, black leather Calvin Klein high heel boots. NEED. And maybe a little tiny dress and huge earrings to go with.)

I am looking forward to the weekend! And I hope that you, dear reader, have a relaxing and fun weekend as well.

PS - I should probably add a disclaimer. Dinosaur Comics is often funny, but sometimes crude and immature. (Sometimes it's both at once!) But not every comic is one that I would link to :)

How Not To Clean A Bathroom in Seven Days Flat

2009-09-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

I think it says something about me that I will finish 3 of what I used to call "chapter books" before cleaning my bathroom ONCE. And NOT something good! Labour Day was a great chance to catch up on housework and feel like I can start the work week really on top of things. Our apartment is LOVELY and clean (my wonderful husband vacuumed, because he knows it is not my favourite chore :) Clean floors, my friends, are HAPPY floors.

Now that I'm no longer a guilty home-not-maker, I would love to share some book recommendations, though. What I've read in the past few weeks:

The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan. This book has been around a few years, and I have actually read it several times--it is that good. The book is told from the perspectives of 4 mothers and 4 daughters; the novel begins with the death of one mother, triggering a chain of memories divulged to the reader by each woman. The centre of this book, I would say, is the impact of past history -- even unknown history -- on the present, and the disconnect between the Chinese born mothers and their very American, very modern daughters. The language barrier between Tan's generations is a literal (!) one, but I think it will resonate with any reader. Is this true for you, too? That what our mothers don't tell us sometimes is as important in our lives as what they do say. The Joy Luck Club ends on a happy note, with reunion, but always leaves me wondering how truly one person can ever understand another, however loved.

Hard Times, by Charles Dickens. One of Dickens's shorter and less-famous works, still full of his trademark, strongly outlined characters who, as exaggerated as they are, somehow manage to be believable instead of simple caricatures. Definitely not a masterpiece, this novel introduces several interesting themes -- including the disastrous effects of an education that disallows any development of a child's imagination or soul -- but simply is not long enough to develop any of them fully. This is not a happy novel -- the central characters may be redeemed morally, but few have a "happy ever after" at the end of the brief tale. As usual for Dickens, there are several central stories, all interrelated -- primarily, the unhappy marriage between an old banker who boasts of his rags-to-riches history, and the young woman who longs for something more than the practicalities and rationalities on which she has been brought up; and the ostracization of an honest mill hand who refuses to join a labour union. I would recommend this story to anyone interested in Dickens or in the period; despite its flaws it is absorbing, thought-provoking, and (for Dickens) a quick read.

Deep Secret, by Diana Wynne Jones. OK, this is a fluffy book beyond compare. DWJ remains one of my all-time favourite fantasy authors, and is one of the reasons I can still often be seen in the children's section of my local library. What makes this book especially fun for me is that the alternate-universes/magic/royal intrigue of the story occurs right in the middle of the craziness of a fantasy/sci fi convention. And does DWJ ever capture the convention crowd! So many scifi/fantasy fans manage to be both awkward misfits and, at the same time, almost pitifully mundane. (You must understand I am speaking from inside a group and not at it!) I wonder, sometimes which comes first. Which creates the other -- that sense of not-quite-fitting, or that thirst to be part of some Story, something high or deep or bright or dark, something epic and vital? I love how Wynne Jones realises that about us--that the colour and carnival of the convention world may be ridiculous, but that it's an attempt to capture something ...

Anyway, this is a Fun Book, but please be advised that it is not a Christian Book. I would rate it a PG13, meaning don't give it to your 8year old who will absorb the story like a sponge without discernment. Readers who object to stories that are witchy and/or worldly had better stay away altogether, as Deep Secret is both.

Mr. Crawford would censure me, I am sure, but NEXT week I am setting aside my beloved novels to read some improving History, in the form of Dennis's highschool text.

Mandarin Orange Salad

2009-09-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

You get an extra post today! Free, no charge! We had a church potluck today (YUM curried lentils and peanut butter Rice Krispie Treats), and I thought I would share the recipe for the salad I brought. It was given to me by one of my best friends in high school, a fun, godly young woman and a super homemaker. Also, it tastes really light and delicious and got eaten up this afternoon, which is always a good sign.

MANDARIN ORANGE SALAD
Prep Time: I dunno, about 15 minutes? It doesn't take long to make a salad :P
Serves: About 6-8, depending on how much else is available ...

For the Dressing:
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons vinegar (apple cider or red or white wine vinegar are all good)
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons sugar
Minced fresh or dried parsley (or if you are out, use a little basil and thyme)

Mix well and chill till ready to use. An empty jam jar or something with a lid that screws shut is the neatest way to make and store the dressing.

For the Salad:
4 teaspoons sugar
1/4 cup sliced almonds (I use a 4-oz package)
1 cup celery, chopped
2 green onions, sliced
1 small can Mandarin oranges, drained
1 head Romaine lettuce, torn

In a heavy skillet (I use my lovely, lovely cast iron skillet!), heat the sugar and almonds over medium heat until the sugar melts and coats the almonds. Stir until the almonds get coated with a delicious glaze (it's OK if the sugar starts to turn a little brown). Turn onto waxed paper to cool.

Toss the lettuce, oranges, celery, and onions together. Just before serving the salad, toss with the dressing (I usually use only 1/2 to 2/3 of the dressing recipe) and with the almonds (break up any huge clumps). YUM.

Blessed ...

2009-09-03T19:52:00.000-07:00

Some time before we were actually married, DH and I started reading through the Bible together ... from Genesis 1:1. We made it through I and II Samuel, and I respectfully submitted that we alternate between reading OT and NT books. I honestly don't think I can take much more of heads being flung over walls. (See II Samuel 20:22.)

So we are now reading through Matthew, one of my FAVOURITE books of the Bible ever. Every time I read or read from it, Matthew manages to both challenge and comfort me. The Kingdom of Heaven -- what does the rule of Christ mean to me, here, now, and always? What do I value and pursue more than anything else? DH and I read the Beatitudes this morning. I wrote 'em out on an index card and stuck 'em up in my cubicle at work (oh yes, update, I now have my own cube!). A few that really grabbed onto my brain throughout the day:

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Mt 5:5). My study Bible suggests that this verse refers to "spiritual meekness, an attitude of humility and submission to God." Christ being the preeminent example of this; God's will and pleasure was of such value to Him that He gave up what He might otherwise have desired. Am I meek? Do I really, truly desire for God's reign on earth more than I want anything else? It's hard to even think about giving up some of my own desires or plans.
I think really being meek in this sense comes down to living out what I know about the character of God. He is GREAT - He is God, and I am not. Basically, who am I to say, "But God, I wanted ..." More than that though, God is GOOD. Psalm 37:11 says "the meek shall inherit the land and delight themselves in abundant peace." What am I afraid to give up? My plans and desires will never satisfy me the way that Christ is able to. Romans 8! If I really believe this, I can trust God's will absolutely. I don't have to worry about looking out for my own safety or pleasure.
I think it's worth noting, too, that JOY or delight is part of truly submitting to God. If I grudgingly and grumblingly give up what I really want, then I am holding something else - some wish or want or need or plan of mine - to be more valuable to me than Christ. And that is just wrong!

The second Beatitude that I really need to absorb is in verse 6: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied." This goes right along with verse 5 -- and again, it really convicts me that I hold too many false values. What things are deepest, most important to me and my happiness?

If I consider the time I spend thinking or worrying about how I look, how clean my house is, what my husband, coworkers, and total strangers think about me, how much money I'm spending on groceries ...

and compare that to the time I spend mentally desiring and pursuing patience, gratitude, joy, contentment ...

ouch.

So here I am, asking for the desire for righteousness! Because I really do want to believe, and live, what Christ has done for me. Does that count as hungering and thirsting for righteousness?

One more verse I read just this morning -
"I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." (Philippians 1:6)

Thankfulness

2009-08-27T18:15:00.000-07:00

Today did not start out so great. It was DARK and COLD and WET when I woke up (at 6 am!), and the outfit I had planned to wear seemed like the absolute WRONG thing to wear. Then I spent half an hour throwing on, then off, the OTHER contents of my closet, frantically trying to find something that was clean, fit, and business casual. I didn't have time to eat my oatmeal and had to run out the door with an apple and no lunch.

Really? I mean, NOT ONLY am I eternally loved by God, He gives me so many, small, specific blessings every day. With that in mind, I would like to offer

THINGS THAT I AM THANKFUL FOR TODAY.

I don't like driving in the rain, BUT I did NOT forget to turn off my lights today!

No time to pack lunch = Caramel Frappuccino from the Starbucks down the road from my office. YUM. That, my friends, is a definite WIN.

My husband SUGGESTED that we go shopping for work pants that actually fit. New clothes = yay! And even today -- SO much better than being too fat for my clothes!

Ashes Against the Grain. The perfect album to listen to in today's weather ... ON my iPOd ... AND I'm allowed to listen to said iPod while I'm in the filing rows at work!

FREE COFFEE at work. I availed myself.

Most of all, I am thankful for my Dear Husband, who was patient and kind to me this morning, lent me his umbrella, offered to do laundry AND go shopping, and most importantly, PRAYED with me that I would remember to enjoy God's good grace to me throughout the day.

I am very, very blessed.

How We Eat One Chicken All Week

2009-08-25T18:42:00.000-07:00

This is very economical, since you can almost always find chicken for less than a dollar a pound. However, it is more interesting if you use your FREEZER and spread the chicken out over two or three weeks!

1 - BUY CHICKEN. The cheap kind -- either bone - in pieces or a whole chicken (buy the smaller "frying chicken" type since they are usually more tender than the big old "roasting chickens." That said, I usually go for the biggest chicken I can find in the bin!

The rest of this blog assumes you're using a whole chicken, since that's usually what's cheaper. If you find a good deal on bone-in pieces, you can get even more creative (I have a good slow cooker recipe for chicken curry, chicken cacciatore etc) -- I don't know about you, but I am NOT cutting up a whole raw chicken into serving pieces.

2 - ROAST CHICKEN. This is the easiest way to cook chicken, ever. But it does take longer than those super-convenient, pricey boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I usually do this for Saturday evening dinner, since I'm nervous about leaving the oven on while we're at church.

Basically, grease a roasting pan and stuff your chicken in it, in the same position as a tiny Thanksgiving turkey. If you like, smear the chicken with butter or olive oil and seasonings such as salt, pepper, dried herbs and/or lemon juice. The chicken also tastes better if you cut up an onion or some celery and stuff it inside the chicken (a good way to use up last week's wilting vegetables!). Shove that thing in the oven at 375 degrees Fahrenheit and cook it till it's done all the way through. This will probably take at least an hour, and possibly much longer if your bird is big or if you want dinner done at a certain time. If you have guests over, it will DEFINITELY take longer.

This is dinner #1. Just cut off the pieces you want to eat and serve them with some vegetables. You can roast some potatoes in the oven while the chicken is baking if you like!

2 - CUT THE MEAT OFF THE BONES. This is the gross part. Pick the carcass clean. Put the cooked meat in storage containers and refrigerate or freeze until you can make a CASSEROLE, SOUP, CHICKEN AND RICE or something similar. Feeding two people (Dennis usually eats more than one serving, but I usually eat less, so it evens out), we usually have enough meat to stretch over at least three more meals. Favourite uses for the meat include Chicken Enchiladas (great for the freezer!), chicken tacos (like regular tacos, only with chicken instead of hamburger), etc.

3 - BOIL UP SOME CHICKEN STOCK. This is the fun part, and why it's worth paying 80 cents a pound for a bird that includes lots of bones and other inedible parts.

Once you've cut all the meat off the bones, dump the chicken skeleton and any other strange bits into a big pot. Add water to cover (for one chicken skeleton, I usually add about 6 to 8 cups liquid). Then, dump in anything else that you think will make the broth taste good. Celery, onion, peppercorns, thyme, and bay are a good starting point. I think coriander and whole cloves (just a couple!) add a subtle and delicious touch. Again, this is a good way to get your money's worth from the limp vegetables you have left over from last week (Who eats a whole huge stalk of celery in a week anyway? Speaking of celery, don't cut off the leaves if you add celery to your broth pot. They add nicely to the flavour). When you've got everything you want in there, bring it to a boil, then reduce the heat, cover, and simmer for at least 30 minutes (longer is better). If you lift up the lid it smells DELICIOUS. YUM.

Then, you have two quarts of high-quality chicken stock that you can use to make vegetable or chicken soup, chicken and rice, or whatever else strikes your fancy during the week. SO much tastier and healthier than those super-salty bouillon cubes and fake-tasting canned broth. Even those $3.00 boxes of chicken stock don't taste as good! I usually find a use for it all, but if you have extra, chicken stock freezes really well.

So there you are. Meals for a week for two people.

An example menu of how this might work out:

Meal One: Roast Chicken
Meal Two: Chicken Tacos
Meal Three: Casserole
Meal Four: Casserole (like I said, this works better if you use your freezer and spread the meals out)
Meal Five: Chicken and Rice (more exciting if you use cinnamon and turmeric!)
Meal Six: Vegetable or Bean Soup (using chicken broth)

OK, so that's six dinners, not seven, but I usually take leftovers to work for lunch!

In Which Emily Snarks ...

2009-08-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

... and also talks about boobs. Be warned, dear reader: this is an indelicate post. Read at your discretion.

Fridays we are allowed to wear jeans to work. Apparently I missed the memo that this particular Friday was also Boob Day.

Yes, I just said "boob" all over the Internet.

The majority of people who work in my department at MFF are young - aspiring young professionals between twenty-five and thirty-five, and then several filing peons like myself, who are about my own age. I'd say 80% of the peons and about 50% of the cubiculites are female. And I can now say that I have a more than casual acquaintance with the boobs of over half of them (the female ones, that is).

Offending garments included, but were not limited to, close-fitting and nearly transparent t-shirts, a lacy cutout polyester thing, or plunging v-necks that should have been retired about 15 lb ago.

Really, people. When did Casual Friday become Boob Day? I just don't understand the reasoning behind such wardrobe choices. I mean, sure, some of the girls in question had really nice boobs. But anybody who actually WANTS to be looking at your boobs, is a creep who you really don't want looking at your boobs. And everybody else would appreciate a little more fabric, thank you very much.

Having expressed my frustration and bewilderment thus indelicately, I shall retire to sniff my smelling salts and sigh over the foolishness of modern times.

On a COMPLETELY unrelated note ... those grapes I was craving the other day? I'm sure they were sour anyway.

That's What He Said

2009-08-18T17:51:00.000-07:00

When I was young, I told myself, "You are beautiful and brilliant and amazing! Everyone will love you." But then I grew a little, and I found out that I wasn't, really ...

So when God told me, years later,
You are beautiful, my love -- there is no flaw in you,
I loved his words, but I was so frightened.

I said, "Lord, please make me beautiful. I am selfish, I am not just, I am not kind. All I want is to live a pure life. Surely that pleases you."

But still He said,
None is righteous -- no, not even you, little one.

So I said, "If I cannot be good, then let me at least be brilliant. Let me make some thing beautiful, to justify my existence here. Some word or song or image that will remain, that people will look at for years. Some thing that will make them cry for its beauty, so that if they cannot love me, they will at least love what I have made."

And He said,
Your flesh is grass, and all your beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely, you are grass. Only my Word remains forever.

And I said, "Yes, yes, Lord, but what can I do?"

He said,
Look -- here is my Son. In Him I am well pleased forever.

And oh, that Son! He was beautiful and terrible. He was like a pearl in his radiance; his great love pressed against me. You are altogether lovely, he told me again.
I felt like the world dropped from beneath my feet -- my stomach lurched with a sick, inevitable dread.
So I built a wall around myself with mirrors, so that all I could see wherever I looked was my own image. And I said, "I am not worthy of love, but I will become a tower. I have no breasts -- no doors. I shield myself with silver. I am all there is in my world, and I reject myself. Surely, now, I have nothing to fear."

But he said (and his voice was terrible)
I shatter doors of bronze; I break through walls of iron. You are mine, little one. No one shall deliver you out of my hand.

And I said, "No one?"

And He said,
Not even you, my hard proud little one.
He was so beautiful it hurt to look at him, but his eyes were so kind. He looked at me -- he saw me. He saw me, and he said again,

I will never leave you or forsake you.

He had been saying it all along.

THE JOB BLOG

2009-08-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

After 2 weeks of employment (by Mon. or Tues. that should be gainful employment!), I figured it was time to tell the folks how said employment happened.

Most of you are aware that I was hoping to have a job before DH and I actually moved to Iowa. My search was made difficult by the fact that I graduated with a degree in English literature (specialising in Medieval literature, at that), am not licensed to teach in Iowa, and have almost NO previous work experience due to frantically acquiring said degree ... Still, my resume looked good, I was hopeful, I did everything right (I thought).

By the end of July, I was despondent. Turned down not only for "dream" positions that I really lacked the expertise for, but for secretarial and administrative jobs that, frankly, any high school graduate with a decent work ethic could do. I couldn't even get a temp job at the Monster Financial Firm that, I was assured, was the one company in town that was always hiring.

I was down to three options. Three bleak, bitter options.

Cafeteria worker in a high school. I could do that ... get up every morning at 4am to spend all day preparing bad, prepackaged food for unappreciative high schoolers. I could really do that. But I really didn't want to.

I could join the Army. At least then I would get great benefits. Health insurance for the first time in years sounds pretty good. Then again, I would have to spend time away from my dear husband. Lots of time away. And I would have to do pushups. Lots of pushups. I HATE pushups.

Or, I could MAKE $1000s A DAY FROM HOME! UNBELIEVABLE EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY!! SIGN UP NOW to MAKE $$$$ IN JUST HOURS A DAY!!!!!

Really. I was desponding all right. I was in full out despond, on the floor by my laptop, staring at the ceiling and wailing in self-pity because I didn't want to work in a school cafeteria. It was bad, people. Bad. I am not the most mature human being, evidently.

Anyway, the story has a happy ending. After forcing me to deal with some major pride and trust issues (thanks so much, Lord), God finally, graciously provided a temp position at said Monster Financial Form--which has a good possibility of turning full time. If you're interested, I alternate between managing files (the system reminds me of working at the library), listening to insurance companies' hold music (I think they've been using the same songs since 1984. There are two of them -- one is peppy, and one is schloopy. Listening to either makes your brain turn to goo and slide out of your nostrils), barcoding, and other random office-y type stuff. Not terribly complicated, but enough variety and volume to keep me busy, and I really like all the people I work with.

Really, anyone could be doing my job. But I'm very, very glad it's me.

The Difference Between Men and Women ...

2009-08-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

My dear husband and I have had many conversations about directions. Specifically, my lack of any reasonable sense of direction. I am NOT proud to confess, I have gotten lost WITH a GPS. OK, I've gotten lost with a GPS TWICE. What my DH and I didn't realise, I think, was the fundamental difference in the way we navigate.

Skip to Friday. DH and I were catching up; I'd spent the day pushing files and being put on hold by insurance companies. (Did you know how many insurance companies have names that start with "American"? A LOT.) My husband had spent the day preparing to start classes at DMU -- which meant, among other things, getting his hair cut. Being the interested spouse that I am, I asked him where he'd gone. It took us about 5 minutes, but we finally established that there is a hair place beside Wal-Mart, across a road that runs next to Wal-Mart, but NOT, at least according to DH, "across from Wal-Mart."

So this is the amazing insight we discovered:

MEN (or at least my man) locate things by a fixed set of directions / standards / whatever. So a shop is only "across the street from Wal-Mart" if it is across the street that Wal-Mart is facing. WOMEN (or at least me) see things relative to their position to other things.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised, but it honestly didn't occur to me that there was any other way to define something ... We probably spent WAY too much time thinking about how to describe the location of a hair salon, but in my short experience, I can definitely see a pattern that extends to more than just how men and women find their way from point A to point B.

* * * *

The Difference Between Men and Women, Part II
(because no blog post of mine is complete until it takes three scroll-downs to read)

DH wanted me to share another example of the different way we navigate. We shop at Aldi (FANTASTIC store, I love it!), but since the machines there don't read my debit card, I have to stop at a bank and withdraw cash before shopping there. We like to go to Great Western Bank, because we can do ATM withdrawals free there. I told Dennis that there was a Great Western "right across the street from Aldi."

Apparently I should have been more specific. There is a Great Western across the street from Aldi, but not across the street Aldi faces--across the street we turn off of to GET to Aldi. Also, there are two or three shops in between the street and Aldi.

I still think that qualifies as "right across the street." Those other shops? Not important--we had no interest in fast food or dollar toys.

Well, at least I knew what I was talking about.

More Recipes

2009-08-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

After 4 days of full-time employment (THANK YOU, Lord!), I have learned the value of a meal that comes together quickly. This recipe certainly fits the bill, and with some hearty, crusty bread makes a satisfying meal. The recipe is from a Weight Watchers cookbook, and if you prepare it as noted has just under 200 kcal/cup (the recipe made 4 cups, enough for Dennis for one night and me to have for supper and then lunch the next day). My soup probably had a bit more, since I used homemade chicken stock. I also substituted dried, soaked, and pre-cooked white beans for the canned white beans. You could probably also cheat on the fresh tomatoes, if you don't have any nice ripe ones. Fresh spinach might be a nice add-in.

WHITE BEAN SOUP WITH FRESH TOMATOES AND BASIL
Makes 4 cups - 15 minutes prep time!

2 tsp olive oil
2 cloves garlic - minced
1 can (19 oz) cannelini beans (small white beans) - rinsed and drained
2 cups chicken broth
2 ripe plum or Roma tomatoes - seeded and chopped
1/4 cup fresh basil leaves - shredded (or use 1 tsp dried, plus 1/2 tsp dried thyme)
1/4 cup Parmesan cheese
Heat oil in a medium saucepan; saute garlic till fragrant (30 sec). Add beans and broth. Reserve 1/3 of the beans or so with enough broth to moisten and mash or puree (so the soup will be thicker). Add mashed beans to the pot and bring it all to a boil; simmer on low heat 4-5 minutes. Add tomatoes and basil and heat through (another 4 or 5 minutes). Serve with cheese!

* * * *

After that quick soup, I would also like to share a recipe for good old, basic, homemade spaghetti sauce. Perhaps you ask - WHO has time to simmer a pot of spaghetti sauce when perfectly decent varieties can be plopped from a jar, heated (perhaps with the addition of a few spices or meat), and served within minutes? Well, if YOU don't have time to simmer sauce for a couple hours, DON'T try this sauce, because after you do, you will never want the jarred stuff again.

PASTISSADA (or as I call it, "spaghetti sauce")
Sauce for 4-6 people; good on pasta, polenta, or gnocchi

Heat in a big pot:
3 T butter
2 T olive oil
(Hmm... no wonder this stuff is so delicious)

If you like, brown:
2 slices bacon (or if you can afford it, use pancetta!)
Then remove to paper towels. Otherwise, just go ahead and add:
1 large clove garlic - minced
1 onion - chopped
1 large carrot - peeled and chopped
1 celery stalk, with leaves (a good use for the floppy ones left over at the end of the week) - chopped
1 bay leaf
Scant 1/2 tsp ground coriander (Yes, coriander. IT'S GOOD.)
1/4 tsp ground cloves
Saute over low heat till soft, 12 to 15 minutes.

Add
1 1/2 to 2 lb ground beef and/or deer
and cook 5 minutes or so to brown evenly.

Stir in
2/3 cup dry red or white wine
and cook 3 minutes to evaporate the alcohol. Then stir in
3 T tomato paste
and cook gently a few minutes more.

Add
3 1/2 cups peeled, seeded, and chopped tomatoes (I used crushed or diced from a can!)
1/2 tsp salt (more if you really have to)
Cover partially and simmer over low heat for about 1 1/2 hours, or till the sauce is thick and smells WONDERFUL. Stir it every now and then. (You can add a bit of water if it gets too dry. This is also when you would add bacon back in, if you used it.)

Add pepper to taste and serve over polenta, pasta, or gnocchi (with cheese if you like - I certainly do!).

This is from Dennis's Venetian cookbook. Apparently this stuff was originally made with horsemeat and chicken giblets. Pretty gross, but TRY THIS RECIPE ANYWAY because it is AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS.

Straight from Facebook ... The 15 Books

2009-08-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

I like to think of myself as a discerning person ... someone who likes to reflect on life and its meaning, has intelligent conversations, and avoids inane TV shows. Really, though, the truth is that (while I don't watch TV) I have an unconquerable fondness for really fluffy books with no philosophical dimension whatever ... and I am a compulsive Facebook quizzer. If you tag me in a note, I will gladly reveal with my three greatest fears, describe my life according to my iPod, and tell you which Mr. Darcy I think is the real thing (Colin Firth, FTW). I know that my Japanese street fashion style is Gothic Lolita (didn't see that coming ... NOT), and have discovered that the colour of my soul is PURPLE (but my aura is GREEN).

So here you are ... straight from Facebook ... the 15 books quiz. In no particular order, 15 books from my childhood / Teen Angst years that have directed my thoughts, informed my imagination, or simply stuck with me through the years.

I seem to have read a lot of fantasy.

1. Best Loved Fairy Tales from the Brothers Grimm, illustrated by Anastassija Archipowa.
This huge, gorgeous book has been part of my life for as long as I can remember ... it is practically falling out of the binding. Classic fairy tales are retold in simple language that is easy for a child to read ... the delicate, luminous watercolour illustrations are what make this book so breathtaking. I credit this book with inspiring my lifelong love affair with "pretty ladies." I would not change much about my childhood, but I WOULD like to go back and choose NOT to scribble vengefully all over Cinderella's stepsisters in angry pink marker.

2. Saint George and the Dragon, retold by Margaret Hodges, illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman.
A favourite version based on Spenser's Faery Queene. I still look in the library children's section for books illustrated by TSH -- she has done several Arthurian legends and fairy tales, always with the most beautiful earthy illustrations. I am a firm believer that picture books are not only for young children!

3. The Faery Queene, by Edmund Spenser.
This book is so full of brilliant images and adventures that it doesn't need illustrations -- it just fills your head with curls and colours. When I first read Book I, I missed most of the allegory -- I just fell in love with the knights and monsters and enchantments. Spenser creates a beautiful, dense landscape in which every detail is there for a reason. Most British literature classes offer a sampling of Books I and III, but do yourself a favour and read ALL of it ...

4. The Chronicles of Narnia, by C. S. Lewis
Lewis loved Spenser! And it shows! This fantasy series is deceptively simple. I believe my first encounter with the books was at the age of 7 or 8. I have read them many, many times since then and they only get better. If you have not read these books, READ THEM NOW. Don't worry about trying to decipher the "Christian message." Just let Lewis's world -- which IS built on a beautiful and honest faith -- sink into your imagination.
It has been so much fun as an adult literature student to discover Lewis's literary criticism ... he liked the Middle Ages! Like me!

5. The Blue Sword, by Robin McKinley
A determined heroine, a desert world, beautiful horses and swords ... this young adult fantasy has everything to make a young teen girl happy. Actually, I'm past the swords-and-horses phase, but I STILL love this book for its achingly true realisation of the world and characters -- you are THERE in the middle of the adventure. I have NEVER been able to read this book without reading straight through it. McKinley is a well-known author with lots of good books. She is not a Christian, so read with discernment ... but really an excellent, excellent writer.

6. "A Good Man is Hard to Find," by Flannery O'Connor.
Flannery O'Connor IS a Christian author, and a perplexing one. I read this short story as a young teenager. I'm sure most of you have read this in a high school class, and are familiar with the way it starts out wickedly funny and ends swiftly, brutally ... it made a vivid impression on my mind, but I couldn't figure out what it MEANT. After several years' more exposure to O'Connor's writing, I understand a bit better, and have the greatest respect for this author. I love the way that her Christian worldview infuses and fuels everything she writes, yet in such a startling way.

7. The Tricksters, by Margaret Mahy.
Another YA favourite, by a New Zealand author who has won (deservedly) many awards. This novel -- like many by Mahy -- features a large (as in numerous), vivid, intelligent, unorthodox family at the point of crisis. During a summer holiday, they encounter the ghost (literally) of another troubled family; secrets come to light, buried conflict ignites, but ultimately relationships are strengthened. Some of my Christian friends may hesitate to read this book because of the supernatural element, and some of the situations (tastefully) described within the book, but I would recommend it anyway. Mahy's books are always full of emotional truth--she never simplifies or shies away from things--described in intelligent and luminous prose.

8. The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson
Once my Dad bought Mom a HUGE, thick, paperback edition of all of ED's poems, and over the years, I read through the volume many times. The great thing about this particular edition was that it includes all the mess-ups, failures, and experiments -- it gave me an insight into how a poet works. I had been used to reading Elizabethan poetry, and was intrigued by ED's spare, full lines. And I love Emily's vision of the world; the same kind of spiders live in her brain, I think, as live in mine.

9. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card
OSC is one of my favourite fantasy/sci-fi writers, and this was the first book of his that I read. A very exciting adventure story -- brilliant child must defend Earth against alien invaders -- but so much more. Card is never afraid to ask the big questions -- about love and faith and the world and humanity as a whole -- at the same time that he creates realistic individuals in close relationships with one another. His more recent books reflect on current developments in society. Card is an ethical writer in a way that few authors are ...

10. King Lear, by William Shakespeare
I think Shakespeare is why I'm an English major. I've always loved to read, and to write, but when I first encountered Shakespeare it was like ... WOW ... I didn't know that the English language could DO that. King Lear was the first play I read -- I think we had watched a Masterpiece Theatre version at home, and it ripped my guts out. I was devastated. So naturally I had to go to the library and get the print version and go through it all again -- and it was even worse. And then I read pretty much the Complete Works. SHAKESPEARE IS AWESOME.
(Despite what some people assume, however, he is NOT the God of British Literature. Take my word for it, Titus Andronicus and the Rape of Lucrece SUCK. No, really. They do.)

11. Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White
I can't believe I only thought of this at #11! Charlotte's Web was the first chapter book I ever read ... I think I was 6. Small enough to still fit into the kitchen cabinet. I was sitting under the sink and then I got to the end and Charlotte DIED and I cried and cried and cried. I would like to believe that Charlotte's web skills (ha!) were some kind of metaphysical, metaphorical introduction to the power of words, inspiring me to my lifelong love of literature and writing, but really I think I was just sad because Charlotte died.

12. Matilda, by Roald Dahl.
Surely everyone has read this book. If not, READ THIS BOOK. It is all about the power of being smart and reading things! Plus it is completely hilarious. Roald Dahl totally remembers what it was like to be a kid in a world of adults. When I was 7, I thought I WAS Matilda. I even tried to move things with my eyeballs (it didn't work).

13. All those Poets in my British Lit Book
I know this is cheating, but they won't fit otherwise! I love the metaphysical poets -- George Herbert ("Love Bid Me Welcome" -- YES), John Donne (Holy Sonnets -- YES) and the modern ones (T.S. Eliot's complex buildup of images and allusions remains an inspiration to me) ... there are too many to list! If you aren't a big fan of poetry, buy an anthology that includes a lot of newer writers. Browse through ... if you take your time, I promise you will find something that just takes your breath away with its beauty or honesty or brilliance. WORDS ARE AWESOME, PEOPLE.

14. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkein
... yeah, I couldn't in all honesty leave this one off! I actually started in the middle of The Two Towers (found a lonely volume at my Grammy's house). I was probably 11, and at the age to adore Tolkein's sad, beautiful Elves. This series really captured my imagination ... Tolkein's world is so HUGE and EPIC and SHINING. It really touched some deep longing for adventure, to be a part of a Grand Story--and, perhaps, some sense of a lost world ... Epic is not so much my favourite genre anymore -- I like my world in smaller pieces -- and reading critically, Tolkein's writing is technically not all that great. But his vision can still wake up that huge deep longing ...

15. A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking
I figured I had better include at least ONE non-fantasy book, so here it is. I have never been a huge science/math person, but when I was thirteen or fourteen I checked this slim little book out from the library because I liked the pictures. AND IT MADE MY BRAIN EXPLODE ... in a good way. Hawking is not at all a Christian, but he really has a gift for explaining ENORMOUS ideas comprehensibly. I had such an expanded sense of God's sovereignty and power and general AWESOMENESS after reading this book. I was madly in love with SH for two years, and briefly considered a career as a theoretical physicist (I changed my mind after high school physics). I still don't understand string theory, though!

Well, there you are, folks. You may wonder at the number of FANTASTIC books I've left off -- the truth is, I read about 15 books a week for much of my childhood, so this list is sadly, sadly, sadly incomplete! There are SO MANY good books in the world, people. Don't let your kids veg out in front of other people's creations -- send 'em to the library and let 'em create their own worlds together with a good book. IT'S GOOD FOR THE BRAIN. At least I always made good grades!

That's all I've got for now -- some of the aforementioned "fluffy books" (an Agatha Christie and InuYasha) from the Altoona Public Library are calling my name :) Don't worry, I have plenty of "smart books" on my reading list as well!

Love,
Emily Pritzel
(or, if you prefer my Native American Indian Name, "Rain Pebble")

Drama & Domesticity

2009-07-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

That would be the title of my life, were it the subject of a Jane Austen novel. This week I certainly could have been another Marianne Dashwood!

The big news of the week--it has been One Month! I celebrated by having not one, but TWO (count 'em!) major emotional crises today. Living with me may not be easy, but at least my dear husband will never be bored! I am so grateful for his patience and kindness, and his encouragement to bring my issues and insecurities to Christ. Living every day by grace is a challenge made so much more difficult by my perpetual desire to be OK on my own. God is so good--I look at the mess that is my life, that is my need to not need Him, and can only weep at His incredible love for me. Romans 8! I am so grateful that my salvation does not depend on my weak and childish faith.

Grateful, too, to have found a place in Des Moines where I can hear the gospel every week. The Sunday before last, Pastor L--- took a break from his journey through the Sermon on the Mount to preach in honour of John Calvin's 500th birthday. Pastor L pointed out that while Calvin's name today is synonymous with the doctrine of predestination, what really sets him apart from previous theologians is his concentration on the role of the Holy Spirit--something that earlier commentors on the Bible had not emphasised. The Spirit is intimately and essentially involved in every aspect of our salvation; it is the Spirit who makes our hearts and minds receptive to the truth of the gospel, so that we both assent intellectually to and believe actually in the promises of God. And it is the actual belief which motivates our changed actions--so that sanctification is just as dependent upon God's working in our lives! Pastor L read a beautiful quote from the Institutes where Calvin spoke of the Spirit's "binding our hearts up in the truth" of the Gospel. I have a hard proud little heart, receiving grace only by the hardest necessity. I can't change this; my constant prayer has become that I not only believe, but trust and love and rejoice in His salvation.

That has been the drama! Practically our days have been pretty simple--I have been plugging away at the job search, and Dennis is reviewing material before he starts school (less than a month!). I am so proud of all that Dennis has accomplished. I know once school starts he will be under a lot of stress, but I am excited for him. I have been having fun playing house ... I wonder how long dishes, dusting, and scrubbing the toilet will retain this domestic charm? We've also been getting to know some of the people from Redeemer PCA. Several families have already invited us over, and have offered such hospitality and good fellowship--really an answer to prayer. I love to be with God's people!

After enough emotional drama to supply screenwriters with a week of soap opera plot, our one month anniversary really had a lovely conclusion. A simple dinner together (with a six-dollar bottle of wine from Aldi!) ... the bread did not rise in time (should be great tomorrow!), but the dessert turned out beautifully. And the company, of course, was the best part of the evening. I am so glad that God keeps breaking down walls, and so grateful to be Mrs. Dennis Pritzel. God has given me a better companion than I could have ever asked for or imagined. Our life together feels so right that it's hard to believe we've only been married a month.

Recipes for Martha

2009-07-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

As promised, two easy and economical recipes . . . both a big hit with Dennis.

PASTA ALLA AMATRICIANA
Serves: 4 (4 VERY LARGE HUNGRY people, more like 6 servings!)
Prep Time: 30 minutes

6 slices bacon, chopped (not too small)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, minced
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes (more if you like it spicy; I do!)
1 can (28 oz) crushed tomatoes
1 can (14 oz) diced tomatoes (do not drain)
1 lb. pasta: linguine, spaghetti, etc.
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Bring a pot of salted water to boil for the pasta. While you are waiting, cook the bacon and oil in a big skillet over medium heat, about 8 minutes or till crisp. Set bacon on a paper towel to drain. Remove all but 2 tablespoons of fat from the skillet, add the onion and red pepper, and cook 5 minutes to soften. Stir in tomatoes and simmer 15 minutes or till slightly thickened.
When the water boils, stir in the pasta. Cook as directed on the package, till al dente. Drain pasta, keeping 1/2 cup of the water aside.
Dump the drained pasta back into the pasta pot. Stir in the tomatoes, bacon, and Parmesan and toss to coat. If needed, add some of the reserved pasta water to loosen the sauce. Serve with extra Parmesan and pepper.
Good with a green salad and crusty bread.

CHICKEN ENCHILADAS
Serves: 4-6
Prep time: 30 minutes, including time to make sauce
Cook time: 30 minutes

For the Sauce:
1 tablespoon olive or vegetable oil
1 onion, minced
1/2 tsp salt
3 tablespoons chili powder
3 cloves garlic, minced (or garlic powder equal to 3 cloves)
2 teaspoons cumin
2 teaspoons sugar
1 cup canned tomato sauce (I used 2 8-oz, no salt added cans)
Heat oil in a skillet or saucepan over medium; add onion and salt and cook 5 minutes to soften. Stir in chili powder, garlic, cumin, and sugar and cook till fragrant (maybe 20 seconds). Stir in tomato sauce and 1/2 cup water. Bring to a simmer and cook to thicken slightly, about 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
If you prefer a smooth sauce, you can puree or sift the recipe. I like mine a little chunky! I also added a dash of hot sauce.

For the Enchiladas:
3 cups shredded cooked chicken
3 cups shredded cheese (12 oz) -- I used a mixture of Cheddar and "Fiesta Blend"
Enchilada sauce (1 recipe, about 2 1/2 cups)
1 or 2 cans (4 oz. each) chopped green chilies, drained (1 can would be very mild, 2 is not that spicy)
1/2 cup minced fresh cilantro (I left this out, since it's expensive, and the enchiladas were very good)
12 6-inch soft corn tortillas
Spray your baking pan(s) lightly with cooking spray.
Combine the chicken, 2 cups cheese, 1/2 cup of Enchilada Sauce, chilies, and (if using) cilantro. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Cover tortillas with paper towels and microwave them for 30 seconds to 1 minute to soften. (This keeps the tortillas from breaking as you handle them. If increasing the recipe, soften the tortillas 1 batch at a time as you use them). Roll tortillas around 1/4 to 1/3 cup chicken mixtures, roll up, and set seam-down in the greased pan. When you have filled the pan, spray lightly once more.
Pour 1 cup of remaining Enchilada Sauce over filled tortillas; spread to coat well. Sprinkle the rest of the cheese over the tortillas and cover with foil.
Bake 20 - 25 minutes at 400 degrees; uncover and bake 5 minutes or so to melt the cheese.
Serve with extra Sauce, sour cream, and lime wedges.

I froze two pans of Enchiladas before baking them--I plan to defrost one pan this week, then bake as directed. I'll report back on how that works!
I may also experiment with adding beans, corn, and/or rice to the filling, to cut down on cost.
1 1/2 recipes made 3 small pans. Each is enough for me and Dennis for dinner, plus lunch for Dennis one more day.

21 Days Later ... The Highlights

2009-07-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that Dennis and I have only been married for three weeks . . . so much has happened in the last 21 days.

It's been fun and a half -- as you might expect, knowing me, a pretty crazy half.

One week after our honeymoon, we packed a truly incredible volume of STUFF into Dennis's compact Saturn, and drove 11 hours to Des Moines, Iowa. We scribbled vague signatures on what seemed like two hundred different forms, agreements, contracts, and disclosures, and finally shambled up two flights of stairs to our first home together. That first night we noticed, dimly, the lack of promised refrigerator included with apartment. Dimly.

And more-or-less exactly two seconds after the rental office closed for the evening.

Dinner at Applebee's and a brief infestation of Wal-Mart in search of canned goods.

The next day I discovered two things:
I had not included a can opener in the "essential things" list (Fortunately, my Eagle Scout husband was prepared with his all-purpose pocketknife. Seriously, Boy Scouts, I can understand the screwdriver, knife, and can opener applications . . . but a corkscrew?), and
Said promised refrigerator was swiftly delivered to our door :)

We had a lovely, cozy first few days together, before my parents arrived with a trailer, furniture, kitchen supplies (including my can opener!) and best of all, fresh eggs and vegetables from the garden. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

In the week and a half since then, I have managed to:
- Use more Clorox in two days than in the rest of my life previously
- Get lost WHILE navigating by GPS . . . TWICE
- Miss one job interview due to said lost-ness, break down into honest-to-goodness hysterics, and communicate--explosively--with my patient and gracious new husband :)
- Procure a library card and check out seven books
- Marveled at the fact that there are 2 Wal-Marts, 2 Targets, 3 Hy-Vees (kind of like an Uber-Walgreens), and 1 Aldi within a 15-minute drive
- Get four meals out of one chicken
- Reschedule and successfully complete missed interview (perhaps leading to temporary placement?)
- Discovered husband's fondness for homemade cornbread!
- Attend women's fellowship hosted by local PCA
- Contemplated (briefly) spending $7.99 a stem on faux cherry blossoms at World Market. Settled on $2.49 something-else from Wal-Mart.
- Confronted my own desperate need of grace at least four times daily
- Complete the last batch of wedding thank-you notes (check your mailboxes, my friends!)
- With help from the dear husband, cleaned a pigeon nest out of the apartment AC unit. (Contemplated bathing in the last of the Clorox, but settled for an hour-long shower. Am itching in anticipation of avian parasites.)
- Also with DH, finished I Samuel and began II Samuel
- Did NOT buy Starbucks every--or even any--day
- Enjoyed waffles home-made by my DH from a German recipe
- Washed approximately fourteen thousand loads of dishes
- Read the first one-and-a-half of the shelf full (two deep) of Dennis's Star Wars novels

I only hope the next three weeks are as full of fun and forgiveness.