Anniversary Pasta

... we should have taken a picture (it was gaw-geous, dahling), but we ate it instead.

Then we made it again the next week. And we still didn't take a picture.

VERMICELLI DI SCAMMARO
(Serves 2+ as main course, 4+ as side or first course)

1 tablespoon dark or golden raisins, soaked
6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 clove garlic
2 anchovies 
1 tablespoon capers
3/4 cup black olives
1 tablespoon minced pine nuts
3 tablespoons bread crumbs
14 oz vermicelli (thin spaghetti)
3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley


This recipe works well prepared as a team. One person (for example, Dennis) actually cooks the pasta. The other (that would be Yours Truly) opens cans, chops nuts, measures ingredients, and eats all the olives that were left in the tin. Yes, all of them.

Cooking Together Is Fun, especially a special dinner for a special occasion. However, if you are a control-freak, as I happen to be, it sadly often becomes Tense and Frustrating instead. With that in mind, let me add another essential ingredient to the list:

A bottle of good wine

It can be white or red, whatever you like. It is very important to open the bottle before you get very far into recipe prep. Trust me, this will add enormously both to the fun of preparation and to the deliciousness of the final dish.

Once you get who does what sorted out, bring a pot of salted water to boil for pasta; cook al dente as directed on the box (about 7 minutes). Meanwhile, in another pan, heat olive oil and add the garlic, smashed and peeled but not minced. Sautee a minute or so till it smells AMAZING.

This is a good time to add some of the wine. This should be sipped slowly by the chef/sous chef, not added to the pot. You will want to add the anchovies to the pot, and mush them up as well as you can. Depending on how hungry you were before those first sips of wine, mashing the weird little pink fillets may seem delightfully funny. Or it may just seem gross. Trust me, the anchovies are an essential ingredient.

After they've cooked a minute, dump in the capers, olives, nuts, and raisins. (At this point, let me suggest using walnuts if the price sticker on the pine nuts at the grocery store gives you palpitations. We did -- it was awesome. Also, feel free to add more raisins if you like them. We are always a fan of adding more raisins.) Cook a few more minutes to let everything get all toasty and delicious, then fish out the garlic (if you are like us, you will then eat the crispy garlic. If that's a little too ... garlicky ... for you, feel free to just throw it away). Throw in those breadcrumbs and let them toast!

At this point, you may need a little more wine. Also, your pasta is probably about done. If both of these happen about the same time, please be CAREFUL as you drain the hot noodles and toss them in the beautiful, beautiful sauce.

This is an Italian sauce. No, there is not supposed to be more of it. There is enough sauce, and it will be DELICIOUS. Have it with meat and salad or all by its ownsome. With, of course, another glass of wine.

As much as I love and respect and am grateful to my dad, this year Father's Day takes a backseat to a more important celebration. Dennis and I have been married one year -- I find that hard to believe! The past year has been so FULL. I think I have learned more about myself (not very fun!) and about God in one year as Dennis's Wife than in any four years together of my life as a daughter. I still have so much to learn about what it means to be part of this new family I have been given.

Being married is a lot (A LOT!) harder than I thought it would be -- and I thought my expectations were pretty reasonable, compared to the Disney happy-ever-after all the magazines suggest you ought to expect! But I am overwhelmed by how great, how very great a blessing marriage is at the same time. Hard, yes, but a source of encouragement, comfort, strength, sweetness, excitement, and fun. Just to know that, "for better or worse," next year, and the next year, and all the years God gives us, it's not going to be me, or even me and Dennis -- it's going to be Us, that strange two-headed creature I am just beginning to recognize.

We really had a lovely day -- working the opening shift at the coffee shop has taught me to appreciate slow, leisurely weekend breakfasts! A friend gave us a slightly-dilapidated but still deliciously functional French press, which makes our breakfast coffee even more of a treat. Then DH surprised me with a truly, truly amazing anniversary gift -- tickets to see the Des Moines Opera perform Le Nozze di Figaro. (!!!! bounce bounce) I am already excited! After church we had fun with capers, anchovies, and other strange and new (to us) ingredients -- Dennis had picked out THE MOST AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS pasta recipe (raisins, too!) and a savoury chicken recipe from an Italian cookbook his sister gave us. I think I can check off another pound gained! Oh, man, it was good. I'd post a picture, but there isn't anything left to take a picture of :)

Having fulfilled my quota both of Girly Smarm and of Husband Bragging for the week, I shall close. I would love to hear, Dear People whom I love and respect, any thoughts -- Deep Thoughts or fluff -- you care to share on Marriage and what it means.

A Lot About Austen

A friend invited me over yesterday to watch Sense and Sensibility (the BBC verison, not the Ang Lee). I'll admit it--I love Jane Austen. I've read her novels and watched the film adaptations multiple times, and they never get old! 

My husband, on the other hand, is not a huge fan. Like my brothers--OK, like most males--sees Jane Austen as something to be endured for the sake of "the girls." I remember Movie Night bartering growing up. A war movie was definitely cause for a "girl movie" like Sense and Sensibility the next weekend, but it took a LOT of "boy movies" to equal the six-tape-long Pride and Prejudice!

Although a few men do appreciate Austen's characterization and wit for its own sake (Dad, you are a rare jewel!), I can understand why her novels and the film adaptations appeal mostly to women. Her interest is in the experiences and perspectives of women of her own class, and the expectations and limitations placed on them by society. She writes of domestic concerns, primarily love and marriage.

So, in a way, any Jane Austen is a sort of "chick lit" or "chick flick." One thing that sets her far above the mass of romantic movies and novels aimed at women, though, is the kind of relationship she portrays as desirable. After growing up with Jane Austen, I find it difficult to believe in or care about romances that follow what I'll call the "Disney Formula" -- where True Love is an undeniable, static, often instantaneous Feeling. You know: instant attraction, plot complications, realization that you are Soul Mates, cue violins, Happily Ever After, The End. The focus is on the attraction, that undescribable connection between the principal characters.

In Austen's novels, however, the relationships that follow the Disney pattern usually prove unreliable. The perfect example is Sense and Sensibility's Marianne and Willoughby, who, after only a few days together, feel that they are "one soul in two bodies." Both characters "follow their hearts" instead of being guided by convention or practicality--yet their relationship turns out to be a false one. Instead, the relationship that is validated at the end of the story (by marriage, of course!) pairs Marianne with the more reserved and conventional Colonel Brandon. Although Marianne at first disregards Brandon as old and boring, she learns to feel respect and gratitude for him, and finally to appreciate that his passionate, devoted personality is married to a commitment to virtue and wisdom. By the time she accepts Brandon's offer of marriage, Marianne is deeply in love with him.

I love this about Jane Austen! Her romantic heroes, the ones who "get the girls," are as different as their partners. They may be witty and charming or proud and reserved; older, younger, poorer, richer. But without exception, they are admirable. Austen's heroines are all matched up with men with whom they are deeply, sincerely, and passionately in love. Yet their love is grounded on more than whoosh-and-gush, violin-drenched Feelings. Mr. Darcy, Edward Ferrars, Colonel Brandon, Edmund Bertram, Mr. Knightley--all of them are men whom Austen's heroines can respect and trust.

I think that's a much more realistic picture of love than the Disney model--maybe even a more Biblical picture? To return to Sense and Sensibility--Austen never portrays feelings as bad. Marianne remains Marianne, of deep "sensibility" and strong passions. Yet she finds true happiness not with Willoughby, her romantic other half, but with Brandon, who deserves her true affection and whom she can trust to protect and cherish her "sensible" love for him.

OK, this post has turned into a monster! I've read a couple of frustrating "chick lit" novels over the past week, and watching S and S with Jody set me off, I guess. What do you think?

You Have To Be Pretty Darn Self Absorbed...

... to write a blog post this long all about ONESELF.

I am. I am, I am. Sorry.

It is hard to believe that DH and I have been married for nearly 5 months. In a way, it surprises me how short a time we have had together ... living together is much less of an adjustment than I was expecting.

Not that it isn't still fraught with all kinds of drama.

I am the kind of person who likes to live life on the edge. As in, I borrow about 10 books a week from the library AND I read them. ALL of them. WOW. This week I was thrilled to discover some ancient cassette tapes featuring performances of Hamlet and Macbeth by old-timey actors such as John Gielgud and Alec Guinness. You know, the actors who still have that resonant, moist, radio quality to their voices (listening to which is the audial equivalent of biting into a rich, booze- and fruit-laden holiday cake), with truly astounding precision of diction. This was truly a find, because my car (which was born in the same year I was) plays cassette tapes.

So I really enjoyed listening to something truly absorbing on the way to work, as opposed to NPR's discussion of Oprah's latest big news, or the type of news stories discussed on the Godless Rock Stations, which are a sure way to erode the moral sensibility.

Then, inevitably, disaster struck. Wednesday morning I was late getting out the door, due to my distressing lack of professional attire. Dennis had already left for school--with his cellphone responsibly turned off, of course, because DH is nothing if not responsible. And of course my car would not start, because of course I had arrived home right in the middle of a soliloquy and had to stay in the car, turned on so that I could enjoy the heater, until the end of it, so that I had completely neglected to turn my lights off afterward, despite the index card taped to the inside of my windshield that says in large block letters TURN YOUR LIGHTS OFF, YOU IDIOT (except that DH crossed out the "idiot" part).

So I had to call and tell my boss that I wouldn't make it in to work. And then I had to call and cancel the doctor's appointment I had scheduled for that afternoon. And then I had to cry for three hours, because I am self-absorbed enough to really be upset by my explosion of incompetence. I still have this arrogant need to, if I can't be brilliant in a creative way, at least handle mundanity competently.

I should explain at this point that, since moving to Iowa the last week of July, I have left my lights on (and run down my car battery) four times, and locked my keys in the car once. That's just car-related incompetence, not general incompetence, which happens on a daily, if not hourly basis.

So I was basically a mess by the time Dennis got home. I told him what happened, and he did that thing where he stops and thinks how he wants to react to a situation. So he decided to treat it as not a big deal at all (which I guess it wasn't, put into perspective, which I don't have). Which really did a lot to defuse my heaped-up store of agony untold, and help me to face the evening with an acceptable amount of sanity.

Sometimes this makes me mad that Dennis is so capable and so deliberate in his responses. Because, you know, I could use some of that! I have the emotional maturity of a six-year-old. My life is a constant string of NOW. And sometimes, NOW is great. But more often (because I am imperfect and wicked, and so is the world) NOW is not so great. And if NOW is all I can see, then, by golly ... it is not a pretty sight. I spend probably about 75% of my waking life either furtively walking around the edges of depression, hoping to stay peripheral, or CAUGHT IN THE PIERCING FANGS OF CRUEL DESPAIR, O Agony!

Anyway, the point of this whole story is to say how very, very much I respect my husband. He is one of the most thoughtful, deliberate people I know. He prays almsot every day that he would be Christlike in the way he loves his wife (me!), and that, my dears, is HUGE. (It makes me cry a lot, but then I cry ... a lot.) And it makes me really want to be more deliberate in the way I relate to him as well--less time reacting out of emotion and more time relating out of truth. I'll let you know how that goes. If nothing else, well, I can definitely see how God is using me to grow Dennis (my gosh, I HATE that).


I am just amazed by the grace and wisdom God has given my husband. He is so good -- Dennis is not exactly what I would have described as the ideal husband for myself a few years ago, but I cannot imagine a person who would be better suited for relating to me individually. I guess God knows what He is doing!

The Difference Between Men and Women ...

My dear husband and I have had many conversations about directions. Specifically, my lack of any reasonable sense of direction. I am NOT proud to confess, I have gotten lost WITH a GPS. OK, I've gotten lost with a GPS TWICE. What my DH and I didn't realise, I think, was the fundamental difference in the way we navigate.

Skip to Friday. DH and I were catching up; I'd spent the day pushing files and being put on hold by insurance companies. (Did you know how many insurance companies have names that start with "American"? A LOT.) My husband had spent the day preparing to start classes at DMU -- which meant, among other things, getting his hair cut. Being the interested spouse that I am, I asked him where he'd gone. It took us about 5 minutes, but we finally established that there is a hair place beside Wal-Mart, across a road that runs next to Wal-Mart, but NOT, at least according to DH, "across from Wal-Mart."

So this is the amazing insight we discovered:

MEN (or at least my man) locate things by a fixed set of directions / standards / whatever. So a shop is only "across the street from Wal-Mart" if it is across the street that Wal-Mart is facing. WOMEN (or at least me) see things relative to their position to other things.

I probably shouldn't have been surprised, but it honestly didn't occur to me that there was any other way to define something ... We probably spent WAY too much time thinking about how to describe the location of a hair salon, but in my short experience, I can definitely see a pattern that extends to more than just how men and women find their way from point A to point B.

* * * *

The Difference Between Men and Women, Part II
(because no blog post of mine is complete until it takes three scroll-downs to read)

DH wanted me to share another example of the different way we navigate. We shop at Aldi (FANTASTIC store, I love it!), but since the machines there don't read my debit card, I have to stop at a bank and withdraw cash before shopping there. We like to go to Great Western Bank, because we can do ATM withdrawals free there. I told Dennis that there was a Great Western "right across the street from Aldi."

Apparently I should have been more specific. There is a Great Western across the street from Aldi, but not across the street Aldi faces--across the street we turn off of to GET to Aldi. Also, there are two or three shops in between the street and Aldi.

I still think that qualifies as "right across the street." Those other shops? Not important--we had no interest in fast food or dollar toys.

Well, at least I knew what I was talking about.

Drama & Domesticity

That would be the title of my life, were it the subject of a Jane Austen novel. This week I certainly could have been another Marianne Dashwood!

The big news of the week--it has been One Month! I celebrated by having not one, but TWO (count 'em!) major emotional crises today. Living with me may not be easy, but at least my dear husband will never be bored! I am so grateful for his patience and kindness, and his encouragement to bring my issues and insecurities to Christ. Living every day by grace is a challenge made so much more difficult by my perpetual desire to be OK on my own. God is so good--I look at the mess that is my life, that is my need to not need Him, and can only weep at His incredible love for me. Romans 8! I am so grateful that my salvation does not depend on my weak and childish faith.

Grateful, too, to have found a place in Des Moines where I can hear the gospel every week. The Sunday before last, Pastor L--- took a break from his journey through the Sermon on the Mount to preach in honour of John Calvin's 500th birthday. Pastor L pointed out that while Calvin's name today is synonymous with the doctrine of predestination, what really sets him apart from previous theologians is his concentration on the role of the Holy Spirit--something that earlier commentors on the Bible had not emphasised. The Spirit is intimately and essentially involved in every aspect of our salvation; it is the Spirit who makes our hearts and minds receptive to the truth of the gospel, so that we both assent intellectually to and believe actually in the promises of God. And it is the actual belief which motivates our changed actions--so that sanctification is just as dependent upon God's working in our lives! Pastor L read a beautiful quote from the Institutes where Calvin spoke of the Spirit's "binding our hearts up in the truth" of the Gospel. I have a hard proud little heart, receiving grace only by the hardest necessity. I can't change this; my constant prayer has become that I not only believe, but trust and love and rejoice in His salvation.

That has been the drama! Practically our days have been pretty simple--I have been plugging away at the job search, and Dennis is reviewing material before he starts school (less than a month!). I am so proud of all that Dennis has accomplished. I know once school starts he will be under a lot of stress, but I am excited for him. I have been having fun playing house ... I wonder how long dishes, dusting, and scrubbing the toilet will retain this domestic charm? We've also been getting to know some of the people from Redeemer PCA. Several families have already invited us over, and have offered such hospitality and good fellowship--really an answer to prayer. I love to be with God's people!

After enough emotional drama to supply screenwriters with a week of soap opera plot, our one month anniversary really had a lovely conclusion. A simple dinner together (with a six-dollar bottle of wine from Aldi!) ... the bread did not rise in time (should be great tomorrow!), but the dessert turned out beautifully. And the company, of course, was the best part of the evening. I am so glad that God keeps breaking down walls, and so grateful to be Mrs. Dennis Pritzel. God has given me a better companion than I could have ever asked for or imagined. Our life together feels so right that it's hard to believe we've only been married a month.

21 Days Later ... The Highlights

It's hard to believe that Dennis and I have only been married for three weeks . . . so much has happened in the last 21 days.

It's been fun and a half -- as you might expect, knowing me, a pretty crazy half.

One week after our honeymoon, we packed a truly incredible volume of STUFF into Dennis's compact Saturn, and drove 11 hours to Des Moines, Iowa. We scribbled vague signatures on what seemed like two hundred different forms, agreements, contracts, and disclosures, and finally shambled up two flights of stairs to our first home together. That first night we noticed, dimly, the lack of promised refrigerator included with apartment. Dimly.


And more-or-less exactly two seconds after the rental office closed for the evening.

Dinner at Applebee's and a brief infestation of Wal-Mart in search of canned goods.

The next day I discovered two things:
I had not included a can opener in the "essential things" list (Fortunately, my Eagle Scout husband was prepared with his all-purpose pocketknife. Seriously, Boy Scouts, I can understand the screwdriver, knife, and can opener applications . . . but a corkscrew?), and
Said promised refrigerator was swiftly delivered to our door :)

We had a lovely, cozy first few days together, before my parents arrived with a trailer, furniture, kitchen supplies (including my can opener!) and best of all, fresh eggs and vegetables from the garden. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

In the week and a half since then, I have managed to:
- Use more Clorox in two days than in the rest of my life previously
- Get lost WHILE navigating by GPS . . . TWICE
- Miss one job interview due to said lost-ness, break down into honest-to-goodness hysterics, and communicate--explosively--with my patient and gracious new husband :)
- Procure a library card and check out seven books
- Marveled at the fact that there are 2 Wal-Marts, 2 Targets, 3 Hy-Vees (kind of like an Uber-Walgreens), and 1 Aldi within a 15-minute drive
- Get four meals out of one chicken
- Reschedule and successfully complete missed interview (perhaps leading to temporary placement?)
- Discovered husband's fondness for homemade cornbread!
- Attend women's fellowship hosted by local PCA
- Contemplated (briefly) spending $7.99 a stem on faux cherry blossoms at World Market. Settled on $2.49 something-else from Wal-Mart.
- Confronted my own desperate need of grace at least four times daily
- Complete the last batch of wedding thank-you notes (check your mailboxes, my friends!)
- With help from the dear husband, cleaned a pigeon nest out of the apartment AC unit. (Contemplated bathing in the last of the Clorox, but settled for an hour-long shower. Am itching in anticipation of avian parasites.)
- Also with DH, finished I Samuel and began II Samuel
- Did NOT buy Starbucks every--or even any--day
- Enjoyed waffles home-made by my DH from a German recipe
- Washed approximately fourteen thousand loads of dishes
- Read the first one-and-a-half of the shelf full (two deep) of Dennis's Star Wars novels

I only hope the next three weeks are as full of fun and forgiveness.